Our pastors and prophets, like some politicians, are as fake as Santa Claus

“The prophet with an unprecedented record of fulfilled prophecies” — his name is Elvis Mbonye — has been in the news over his prophecies about US politics. 
Apparently, he did prophesy that Joe Biden would not become president of the US. He could not have been more wrong. Mr Biden beat the impulsive and eccentric Donald Trump to become the 46th president of the US and is looking forward to his inauguration in January 2021.
On social media, Mr Mbonye — I do not think he should be called a prophet — has been the butt of some very harsh jokes from Ugandans who are taunting him for his fake prophecies. 

Mr Mbonye has made himself a name, but his fake prophecies or inability to prophesy have caught the attention of powerful figures in the Jesus industry. 
In 2017, for example, Pastor Robert Kayanja told a congregation at his church (two days before Christmas) that there are no real prophets in Kampala — a veiled reference, I suppose, to Mr Mbonye.
Pastor Kayanja said if there were prophets, they would have prophesied Sudhir Ruparelia’s Crane Bank collapse. They did not. 

But Pastor Kayanja himself has in the past dabbled in prophecies to no effect. On New Year’s Eve in 2005, for example, he said five presidential candidates would stand in Uganda’s presidential elections of 2006 and that two would drop out of the race while one would die. 
All men and one woman who ran for president, apart from John Ssebaana Kizito, are alive.

Our pastors’ so-called miracles are some of the most risible claims you can hear. Many Ugandans have been shocked by a video circulating on social media in which a woman has been saying that all ‘miracles’ performed by Pastor Augustine Yiga — he passed away a couple of weeks ago — were fake and that she played a key role in creating them.
 
But I think that was only to be expected. Pastors and prophets have conned people before and have become extremely and dangerously manipulative in pursuit of money. 
In 2008, The Observer published a story about a woman named Grace Kashemeire who told churchgoers that Pastor Imelda Namutebi Kula, head of Liberty Worship Centre, had cured her of HIV/Aids. She was lying.

Kashemeire, who had lost three husbands to Aids, had been coached by Pastor Namutebi, The Observer reported, to tell other church members suffering from Aids that she no longer needed to use anti-retroviral drugs because her Aids problem had been solved. From the humblest to the richest pastor/prophet, they all seem to have problems and are mired in a scandal of one kind or another. 

Even pastors in rich countries are a disgraced lot. In 2006, Ted Haggard, once a leading evangelical pastor, fell from grace after admitting to a gay sex scandal. A gay prostitute said Pastor Haggard, who is married to a woman, had paid him for sex. 

In 2018, in South Africa, a young woman in her 20s dragged a famous pastor named Timothy Omotoso to court, alleging that the pastor had raped her from the age of 14. 
Pastor Omotoso denied the allegation, but the victim told the court, with great composure, according to the BBC, that the pastor — quoting Psalms and threatening God’s anger if she did not comply — had allegedly repeatedly raped her.
Not all pastors are monsters, but many are. They are not what they claim to be. Like some politicians, they are as fake as Santa Claus.

Mr Namiti is a journalist and former
Al Jazeera digital editor in charge of the Africa desk
[email protected] @kazbuk