What is first, leading yourself or others?

In our day-to-day understanding, we view leadership as an outward action intended for other people. I intentionally used “we” to include myself because even with my level of awareness, often I still fall short to that same understanding. The Oxford language dictionary describes the noun leadership as, “the action of leading a group of people or an organisation.” 

When you read that description, it sounds like leadership is an action geared towards other people. Right? There is truth to that and hence the lens through which we view leadership. Now, what if we view this from another lens?

John Maxwell is a renowned leadership expert in the world who has written numerous books on leadership, he teaches that, “Leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less.” The key word here being “Influence”. To me influence is an effect on character and character starts with you. Right? Thus, leadership is the effect of your character of which your character starts from within.  Having now been made aware of this lens, questions for you to reflect. 
1. What are you doing intentionally to lead yourself? 
2. What is your character made of (who am I)?

Let me briefly plug a personal story as you contemplate on these questions. In March, I was introduced to Ms Rosette Wamambe at the International Maxwell Leadership Conference that was held in Orlando, Florida in the United States. 

Not so long after I had known Rosette, the next day she sprung a surprise proposal to write this leadership column with her. At that moment in time, it was very helpful to know who I am on the inside and how I lead myself. I am developing the character of open-mindedness and have defined my purpose which revolves around serving people. 

With a smile after hearing her proposal, my response was “Yes, I will be honoured to serve.” Now, if I am being honest with you. Had Rosette asked me this same question four years ago, it would have probably been a resounding “No thank you!” You probably wondering why.

Well, over that last four years, I have been on a personal growth and leadership development journey. During this journey, I have come to the awareness of who I am and defined what my life purpose is. This does not mean that I found all the answers hence intentionally calling this a “journey”. To this day, I am learning, unlearning, and re-learning.

Please note that this awareness did not exist four years ago because like most people, I too like comfort. However, the true character formation of who one is does not often grow if it stays in a comfort zone. Understandably, not every person is willing to explore who they truly are. This is a you and you deal. The question then for us to ponder is are you willing to lead starting with you?

As a person of faith, I know that I am created in the image and likeness of God. This truth has not eluded me. However, in the journey to unearth who I am, there are character traits inside me that still need a lot of leading to help me grow to my full potential. Who we are, was generally first influenced by family.  Then, the environment in which you are raised during the formative ages, people, school, workplace, etc. As you become aware of the core of who you are, it helps you find ways to lead yourself from within. You start to learn when to say “yes” and “no” and be confident of your response. 

As, I bring this in for a landing, there is a statement that says, “You cannot give what you do not have.”

I have become intentional on how I lead myself first because I cannot lead others well when I do not know how to lead myself. In answering the question who am I, I know that mine is a continuous growth journey that I am discovering every day. None of this will be easy when you chose to do the same, however take heart that you are not alone. 
I believe in you – In virtue and wisdom, lead the world.

Jerome Emanzi is a transformational leader Coach with the Maxwell Certified Leadership Team.         [email protected]