When stars are singing loudly and sweetly about leaders with small minds

When I get some time soon, I will tell you about viongozi wenye akili ndogo (leaders with small minds). On that day, I will tell you that the one part of the world where Ugandans badly need our government’s intervention is the Arab world, where our people are treated like dogs and killed freely. But government doesn’t care because certain powerful individuals mint money from this slave trade! 

The same government though, hastily arranged a press conference at which Mr Okello Oryem – State minister for Foreign Affairs – announced they were sending State minister for Sports, Hamson Obua, to Japan to trace an Olympian who had skipped camp. 

At the height of the biggest health crisis in world history, a very big government (83 ministers) that can’t find vaccines for its dying people was keen on spending precious public funds so a minister could fly to Japan to trace an adult in great shape, who really didn’t want to be found. Look up at the sky, check the alignment of the stars and hear what they are proclaiming: viongozi wenye akili ndogo!

When time comes, I might even tell you that a Black man may melt into American society, but he simply cannot hide anywhere in Japan; so a simple notice transmitted around Japan will yield results in a matter of hours. 

When really I get time (not today, as you can see), I will argue in the alternative that it would have been hugely unnecessary, but perfectly understandable if my dear Grace Akullo – the director of Criminal Investigation Department (CID) – had been deployed, to team up with her counterparts in Japan, to “coordinate the investigation”.

But a minister who can’t even trace his own socks in his bedroom, burning public funds to do police work in Japan! Daylight robbery of the Treasury! But then again, we cannot do much – the military junta that runs this country has everyone at gunpoint. We are hostages…of viongozi wenye akili ndogo! 

When finally, some time I get, I may want to argue that when you see “a whole Prime Minister” being the one distributing relief aid, sending mobile money to individuals’ phones – work that can be properly done by a street-level bureaucrat in any department, it’s time to check out the stars! 

There is a time when the rank of Prime Minister commanded respect. If you saw Prof Apollo Nsibambi, senior counsel Amama Mbabazi or Dr Ruhakana Rugunda conducting government business…veneration only. Now check…! Hark, now hear, the stars sweetly sing: viongozi wenye akili ndogo!

I will soon argue, in the near future that when you live in a country where the Vice President can only hope to keep their office (avoid an inglorious dismissal) by saying nothing, doing nothing and being nothing; to the point that a monthly reminder must be sent out to the nation, reminding them that they have a Veep and this is what Veep looks like…it is time to look at the stars, see how they are aligned and listen to their sweet singing: viongozi wenye akili ndogo! 

When the right time comes, I will argue that when you have an entire leadership, constantly singing the praises of the President and assuring you – and him – that he is the only one in a country of 40 million people, with a vision for the country and with the ability to keep it going, it is time to look up at the stars and listen to the music: viongozi wenye akili ndogo!

When I get time soon, (no, not today), I will contend that when government officials, after stealing all the money for the project, get a supplementary budget and finally manage to build a bridge across some pond, swamp or stream upcountry and they make it a big rallying point for an old and tired leader to stay in power, look up at the alignment of the stars and hear them sing: viongozi wenye akili ndogo. 

I just might want to argue, on that day, that when every little project done by government – a new market, health centre or borehole – must be inaugurated by the President, look up, shake your head sadly, and sway along in rhythm with the stars as they sweetly sing: viongozi wenye akili ndogo! When, finally, I get time…!

Mr Tegulle is an advocate of the High Court of Uganda     [email protected]