Vipers, KCCA Samba mad rush feels like two bald men fighting over comb

The story of off-seasons in Ugandan club football is more complicated than it appears. The player turnover, historically as in the here and now, has a knack of being alarmingly high. The high attrition rate for players raises the possibility, even if only slightly, that a clean slate is within touching distance. 

Over time, though, the risks and futility of pressing the reset button whilst in the grip of panic and anxiety spikes have become painfully clear. With local clubs chopping and changing in a display that is rooted in a reluctance to admit to their mistakes, there is no centre of gravity around which a sustained challenge can coalesce. At least not when two bald-headed men are fighting over a comb (read when domestic club football is being played).

The perpetuity of transitions means that flaws should be glaring if one looks closer. But our clubs—even the leading lights (more on them shortly)—have little incentive to throw in their lot with best practices. They are convinced that aggressiveness in the market whenever the transfer window opens goes down well with their rank and file—the fans.

Wholesale changes are consequently something to be consumed with a clear comprehension of return on investment. While a few clubs have managed to break significant ground with such modus operandi, the evasions that both sustain and threaten this twisted trajectory continue to plumb the depths of self-destructiveness.

As a result, most clubs have not been any different from your average bull in a china shop. This is unfortunate. Conventional wisdom suggests that football projects worth their weight in gold feed off piecemeal changes. Yet one of the standouts in the ongoing transfer window continues to be the frightening sense of permanence of two old foes attempting to outfox each other. Over a comb.

The local football fraternity has been amused, intrigued and depressed, almost in equal parts, watching Vipers SC and KCCA FC grimly determined to wind up having more journeymen Brazilian players on their respective rosters. Very funny, indeed. Just to be clear, this column sees nothing fundamentally wrong in the influx of foreign coaches and players into Uganda's top flight football league.

It is your humble columnist's fervent hope that the high-profile additions have a depth and a weight that is unparalleled. You do not, however, have to be a rocket scientist to come to the conclusion that the acquisitions are scattergun. And also that some of the players look like they are here to draw a pension.

If indeed the approach is not born out of calculation, or at least not primarily, but of necessity, this will come out starkly on the continent. Vipers and KCCA will next season figure in the Caf Champions League and Caf Confederation Cup respectively. The two sworn enemies should do everything remotely possible to disabuse themselves of any presumptions that they will find fellow baldies on the continent with whom they will jostle with over a comb. 

As they lock horns over domestic titles, like has always been the case in recent times, this column hopes the presence of many foreign imports will compel local players to come out of their shells. Ditto local coaches. That’s the only silver lining your humble columnist can make out from what is by all accounts a dark cloud.

Short of that, the domino effect of loss perpetuating loss will take root in fertile soil. The high attrition rate that we are witnessing will then be rooted in a questionable approach—one that maintains a sense of matter under strain.