A man’s size matters to women. We are just more realistic about it
Posted Saturday, March 30 2013 at 00:00
Men continue to complain about women gaining weight as if they, too, do not at some point let their bodies go, writes Grace Kenganzi.
So the size of a woman matters to men. At least, according to the several men who responded to a story in this magazine recently. But is this really surprising? Women, for years, have done all they can to make sure they do not get “fat”. Let me digress a little and first discuss that word “fat”.
What does it even mean? That some people are simply huge dollops of greasy matter, with eyes, ears and limbs? When I ask this question out loud, I’m told to check in the dictionary and apparently it has something to do with a person having excess flesh on their bodies.
Which brings me back to what I was talking about –women working hard not to become fat, so that they are a desirable size for men. Okay. So you will not go out with me because I have extra flesh on me.!
Guess what, size also matters to women. And for us, it is more than how much extra flesh you have on your body. In fact, in some instances, the bigger the better. One person used the quote, “the nearer the bone, the sweeter the meat”, to explain why they would like a smaller woman. Clearly, this person has never had the pleasure of biting into a fleshy piece of meat. And we will not hold it against him.
That is what he prefers. But, we like our men with flesh on them. And it has nothing to do with beauty. Oh, who am I kidding? It does have something to do with beauty –men with six packs and a wide chest are attractive. But we accept that not every man can achieve the body of Rob Evans, and so we try not to judge men by their size.
But, and this is a very big but, if you take pride in having a large gut, then we have a problem. You see, I don’t want to walk around with a man who looks like he is the one who carried our children, and even ate a few while at it. Or, one who sweats profusely at the simple task of climbing into the car because he is trying to fit his abdomen between the steering wheel and the chair.
And to the gentlemen who criticise women for gaining weight after giving birth, at least there is a valid reason. What do you say for the men who gain it simply because they get married or get a job? Their wives also married men with different weights but you don’t see them replacing them with leaner men, do you?
I get the men who said they don’t like obese women, for health reasons. But if it is because I don’t have an iron board-flat stomach or that my legs jiggle when I walk, we have a problem, especially if I came by them naturally. So don’t expect me to torture myself with workouts to get rid of them while you lounge with the boys, enjoying a few cold ones. If my size is not stopping me from performing any of my duties, get over it.
But if you are the kind that likes to hit the gym and, therefore, always criticise the woman in your life for putting on weight, stop being selfish. Encourage her to join you instead of standing by and insulting her size. And if she does remain bigger than you would want, accept it, especially if she is healthy. Because we accept you the way you are, most of the time that is.
Oh, and then there is the person who said they prefer smaller women because big girls don’t bathe properly. Apparently, you cannot get to the dirt hidden underneath all that flesh. So to him, size affects cleanliness. Spoken like a true shallow-minded man. News flash if this is what you think.
A person can be dirty no matter how big or small they are. Case in point is all the skinny smelly boda boda men we encounter every day. I will leave it at that.