How young love cost me my education and future

When 25-year-old Fiona Kakai narrates the events of her life that have left her a single mother of three, her tone is harsh. Bitterness and anger clearly portrayed in her voice. She cannot stop blaming herself for having been so vulnerable at a younger age and falling for a man who ended up ruining her life.

“I was very young and foolish. I loved and trusted a man very much and see where I have ended up. My life is in a million little pieces,” she says, starting to narrate her story.

Kakai was only 17 years old when she conceived her first child. At the time, she was in Senior Three while the man responsible for the pregnancy was in Senior Six. Both were studying at a day facility known as Pride Academy, Kisugu, and were both in Scripture Union, a Christian movement in the school that aimed at bringing real-life transformation.

She however prefers not to mention his name because of the sensitivity of the story. He used to tell her, “You are the only girl I love. I do not have any other one in my life. Look at me as your friend and guardian angel. Whenever you need anything, ask, do not feel afraid.”

This flattery was what made her vulnerable to fall for him. Before she knew it, she slept with him. One and half months later, her behavioural patterns started to change. “I started vomiting, eating a lot and piling on weight,” she says.

The discovery
Kakai shared her unusual experiences with one of her close friends who advised they visit a clinic somewhere in town. While there, one of the tests conducted was a pregnancy one whose results came back positive.

“I remember suddenly becoming cold when I was told I was pregnant. A lot of things started running through my mind,” she says. Since Kakai did not really know what to do, her friend suggested she terminates the pregnancy. “You want to remain with that pregnancy? That man is going to say that it is not his.”
After thinking hard about what had transpired, Kakai borrowed Shs100,000 from the man. She did not tell him about the pregnancy but rather lied she wanted the money to seek treatment for fever. Then, with her friend still by her side, they visited another clinic, this time round in Bwaise, a Kampala suburb.

After narrating what happened to the doctor, he told Kakai to take off her clothes. Then, he brought out two containers. One had many surgical tools while the other had cotton stashed with a lot of blood.
Upon seeing them, Kakai vomited before loudly shouting “Noo!” She grabbed her clothes, put them back on and ran out of the clinic. She recalls the doctor shouting, “Come back, you have already paid your money”. But Kakai had already taken off. She headed straight home where she fainted upon reaching.

Mother’s reaction
She recalls waking up in a clinic in Kibuli, a Kampala suburb, moments later with her mother, Sarah Soita by her side. That’s how the old woman got to discover about her daughter’s pregnancy. Her reaction? She slapped Kakai hard across her face before shouting, “Do you know how old you are? Who is responsible for this? I am going to beat and kill you with that thing you are carrying inside your body.”

According to Kakai, her mother at some point roared like a lion, ran out and picked up a stick. Upon returning back inside the clinic, she found her daughter had escaped. Kakai had gone to seek refuge at her friend Fatuma’s house. It was the latter’s mother who calmed Soita and begged for mercy on her behalf. Fearing the possible consequences of the situation, Soita forgave her daughter and vowed to care for her and the baby.

The other woman
Unfortunately for Kakai, injustice was added more to the injury after receiving news that the man who was responsible for her pregnancy had also impregnated another girl who was in the same class with him.

As months passed by, the girl got to know Kakai’s family residence located in Wabigalo market zone in Kibuli. From time to time, she stalked and threatened her life. During one confrontation, the other girl mentioned, “If I ever find you anywhere near my man, I will skin you alive and remove those eyes that look at him with.”

The threats made Kakai cut off complete communication with the man. The school administration understood her situation and allowed her to study. Kakai gave birth right after finishing her Senior Four examinations.

However, she dropped out because of lack of school fees as it had been a struggle after her father had passed away a few years earlier.
Besides, she now had a baby to look after. Fortunately, her family members helped out since she did not have a job.

The second and third baby
One day, the father of her child reached out to her and said, “I love you, I do not love the other girl.” His continued persistence and “sweet talk” made her forgive and take him back.

He rented for her an apartment somewhere in Kibuli. After leaving the other woman, he moved in with her. Her family believed and hoped their relationship would work out for the better this time round.

She conceived and later gave birth to another boy now aged two years. A year later, she had another baby, a daughter. But something suddenly changed in the man. He became indifferent and rude. According to Kakai, it was as if something was eating him up and he did not want to share it. Whenever she asked what the matter was, he shouted, “don’t ask me!”

Then fights and quarrels erupted. Kakia decided to hold on, hoping things will change. But they did not. One day, the man packed his things and left. She was left with no choice but return to her mother’s home.

Situation now
Today, Kakai regrets why she fell for such a man. “I was naïve, young and foolish,” she says, adding, “How did I fall for such flattery, how?” She is jobless and frustrated. Thank God for her immediate family members who continue to support and encourage her from time to time. The man who once claimed to love her is nowhere to be seen. He never gives her support or calls to ask about the children. The burden of taking care of them is on her now. One time after calling him, he rudely replied, “I do not want to see your phone calls.” Kakai’s wish at the moment is to get a job to educate and support her children.

The letter

“Hi Editor,
My name is Susan Wanyenya. I got to know about the makeover offer from a notice in a copy of Daily Monitor on a Friday in May, and I chose to give you my sister for the makeover. My sister is called Fiona Kakai and she’s 25 years old. She is a single mother of three children and for the past two years she has gone through hard times including not attending to herself. Her husband left her in the house and the landlord threw her out.
She is now staying with our mother but can’t afford to take care of herself anymore. I don’t think she has worn anything new in two years.
Please help and cheer her up because I think she deserves to be happy too. I will be glad if my request is answered. Thanks a lot.
Yours truly,
Susan Wanyenya.

The transformaton

The experience
“The makeover experience made me realise that it was not the end of the road. Somewhere out there is an opportunity and it is waiting for me. I remember looking at the mirror after the makeup was done and seeing a totally different person.

I saw a courageous and strong woman and I want to be her. My favourite outfit was the pink dress with the purple sleeves because it made me realise that I deserve something beautiful in my life. I am grateful to the Uzuri director for encouraging and giving me hope that all is not lost, that I have a second chance at life. I took note of that, Ayele. Thank you.

Indeed, I am going to prove to everyone that I am worth something in life. To the Full woman team, thank you very much. This makeover experience has reminded me that there is light at the end of the tunnel.”
The stylist
Ayele Egbuson, stylist and director of Uzuri limited fashion house shares her experience too;

“Fiona’s story is heart wrenching. It is why I felt the makeover should be full of bright colours to symbolise her rebirth from the past. I aimed for a young look. Therefore, I picked a sassy short orange dress to emphasise her lean legs. Our second look was a hooded flower chiffon dress to give her a fierce and joyful look.

The hood helped to bring out her playful nature. Then, I wanted to move a little bit out of the casual look and decided to dress her in a fuchsia (pink) dress with the purple arms. It brought out her beautiful dark chocolate skin well.
The last look was a two-piece green top with skirt with a big belt. This particular one emphasised her beautiful shape while maintaining her youthful look green tone colour.”

Prices

• Dresses: Shs200,000 to Shs250,000

• Bags: Shs180,000.

• Shoes: Shs450,000.
Hooded dress: Shs200,000
The crew
• Olivia Darius, a makeup artiste at Paramour Cosmetics Limited
• Ayele Egbuson, stylist and director of Uzuri Limited Fashion House