Sue Saxon, who runs a Christian introductions agency in London once said, finding a partner for marriage is like selling a house.
You don’t just sit around praying and waiting for someone to turn up. Most people would pray about it, and then they would put their house on the market.
Tracy Namuseeta, 27, intimated to us that she is searching for a soul mate to marry her but so far all her efforts have been in vain.
Her worry she could clock 35 years before settling down and constant nagging from family for a man have made her restless and yet no serious man seems to be coming her way.
Having been raised in a Christian family, her preference would be a Christian and as such she has been positioning herself in church for the “brothers” to see her.
“Previously, I would attend the church service and go as soon as it ends but after embarking on the search mission, I started attending the services and afterwards stayed longer to greet some people. But, this didn’t fetch me enough attention,”says Namuseeta.
Determined, she joined the church choir and now ministers in almost all the services but all that the ‘brothers’ do is to praise her sweet voice and say God bless you.
Inwardly disappointed, she returns the blessings but says can’t help thinking the church boys are rather too slow.
With her eyes on particular men, she has decided to get more involved in other church activities such as youth fellowship trips and cells so that she can reach out to those guys. But to her dismay, the men only end the discussions at spiritual matters.
Having done all those for the last three years, Namuseeta feels desperate and is on the verge of giving up as all her tricks have run out. But Namuseeta is not alone.
Joshua Nsubuga, a resident of Kamwokya,a Kampala suburb says after numerous disappointments from girls, he decided to go to church for a partner too early last year.
“I felt I could find a sincere person in church so apart from attending the usual church service, I decided to get more involved in other church activities,” He says.
Unlike Namuseeta, Nsubuga says his efforts have since paid off as he had his introduction in January this year and is set to wed later this year.
But Mable Mbabazi, 29, was unlucky. She says being more available at church raises one’s chances of getting noticed and probably meeting a suitable companion. She participates in almost every activity but the efforts haven’t paid off.
She claims most church mates prefer to marry those they have grown up with leaving those that recently joined the church unaided. She can’t hide her disappointment in the fact that some parents match make their children in church making others fail to fit in.
However, some frustrations have been unpredictable as she explains, “There’s even a man I liked and thought he felt the same, but later he introduced to me a different girl from a different church and they soon got married. I quietly endured the pain and even contributed towards their wedding.”
But this is not new to most Christians as christianitytoday.com once revealed, many committed Christian women are forced to stay single because of the lack of eligible men within their churches.
Cedric Pulford a blogger, says the prospects of finding a partner get poorer with age as women increasingly outnumber men in church.
Do’s and don’ts of getting a spouse at church
According to Pastor Bashan Samuel Zziwa of Bajjo Full Gospel church, as one looks for a marriage partner, they should look for someone who is:
God fearing- if he or she puts God first and fears him, they will value you as well; apologetic and teachable among other qualities.
•If you are a woman, look good because God gave women the ability to look good. Do not over do it by wearing heavy make up because you might scare someone away. A girl can wear a dress from Owino market and look stunning.
• Be available serving the Lord. Do not be inconsistent by changing from one service to another.
•Pray for God’s will to be revealed unto you. Do not pray with a biased mindset because then you have already made your decision
•Do not undermine people because some people have great dreams despite their current financial status.
•Do not look for a marriage spouse in a bar or club because out there, people pretend to be what they are not. However even in church, there are some people who pretend.
•Do not pray claiming a man as yours even God reveals it to you.