Your ministerial office is for your stomach’s needs, Nadduli told

Lubwama was not amused by the idea of a recess. He repeatedly asked if we would be paid during recess, but no one cared to respond. The members’ WhatsApp group was like a corpse undergoing a slow rigor mortis: quiet and deader than death. It wasn’t any better on the ruling party’s Yello! group where much of the stuff were pressers from agencies.
But then an unlikely member said something that seemed to have awoken the rest from wherever they were.
“Has our eminent Hajj been sorted yet?” It was Ssewanyana, who had never contributed on the group since it was started.
Munyagwa: It’s good to see you finally say something.
Ecweru: Which Hajj?
Fungaroo: Must be Nadduli.
Rugunda: Is this about the fellow crying for a direct line with the President?
Ssewanyana: I thought he was an astute and seasoned politician well versed with how things run in this country but…
Nadduli: What is wrong with seeking direct access to the President to ease my work? He is my appointing authority and I am responsible to him.
Otto: You are responsible to Ugandans.
Ssewanyana: You hold a ministry without ‘portfolio’ and you go crying out loud that you want direct access to the President, wasn’t Nadduli around when the likes of Mirundi and Nagenda were crying about how they never even meet him?
Okot: Someone needs to be told that there is only one minister in Uganda and the rest are just holding break baskets in their hands to feed themselves and relatives with exaggerated self-entitlements.
Nadduli: I don’t understand why anyone should be angry that I am trying to do my job. Should I just sit and suck my thumb in the office?
Mwijukye: If sucking your thumb isn’t enough to break boredom, watch Nigerian movies in your office.
Kathika: Nadduli, if you can wade through the network of intrigue around the Leo, you probably will have occasional audience with the big man.
Mateke: Bwana Nadduli, I feel you.
Ssekikubo: We are lucky he wasn’t appointed VP.
Nsereko: Yeah, he would have demanded a suite at State House Entebbe.
Rugunda: We should commend minister Nadduli, not ridicule him.
Fungaroo: We’re just offering him free advice, that he should look up to the likes of Ssekandi. If seeing the President is what you yearn for, invite him to launch a chapatti stall in Luweero.
Nantaba: Hahaha, these guys are crazy.
Ecweru: Oh, Nantaba here had direct line to the President and would call him on camera and such things. Maybe Nadduli can tap her for the magic while it lasts.
Bahati: I hear while it lasts, how?
Lubwama: I hear former MPs will be paid. I should have become an MP before I was born.
Anywar: I had a feeling Lubwama would bring that up.
Mbayo: He is an ATM, literally.
Mbago: ATMs dispense money, Lubwama only wants to receive. So how is he an ATM?
Mbayo: Automated to Talk Money.
Katuntu: What is with the names, Mbayo, Mbago, are these siblings?
Munyagwa: Hahaha, add Mbogo to the list.
Ssekikubo: I think the biggest beneficiary of the proposal to pay former MPs will be Muhwezi.
Nankabirwa: Oh please!
Karooro: They are getting started and this will go personal.
Fungaroo: That is something Beti Kamya must have broached.
Beti: Why me?
Bahati: Does that mean that ex-officios like Otafiire will earn the emoluments for former MPs as well?
Ssemujju: Putting the cart ahead of the tired horse? That thing won’t work. If we should pay MPs then let’s also pay doctors, teachers and janitors who retire.
Obua: They get pension, MPs don’t.
Lubwama: This guy Ssemujju opposes every money proposal, does he still engage in barter trade?
Mbayo: Hahaha, Ssemujju, you need to make out with our ATM.
Ssemujju: I can’t respond to such money-minded person even here.
Karooro: And Bahati, please stop stirring Otafiire when everything is so peaceful here.
Kajara: Why are the two always trading blows here?
Bahati: I merely made a mention here. Do you want me to be quiet like Musana? Isn’t Otafiire an ex-officio?
Otafiire: Gasiya!
Bafaki: Now check!
Lokodo: Mr Otafiire, I know you have a reputation, but this forum has your elders and we are all your colleagues. Such language you should have left in the bush. We might get to middle income status when you are still stuck in Stone Age.
Otafiire: At least Matembe and Buturo were worth a reply, but you should be feeding mice in a church.
Kasirivu: Oh my! What would the world be without Otafiire!
Akurut: Lol @ feeding church mice.
Kasibante: Poor Lokodo.
Sematimba: What a character!
Bahati: And this Severino is a former seminarian who would probably have been ordained a Father now.
Nsereko: He would have made a better bishop than the one in Arua who caused riots.
Otafiire: Bahati, I think I remind you so much of someone.
Ecweru: Hahaha, I just like these two ‘co-wives’.
Ogwal: Don’t insult women like that.
Lubwama: We were discussing something very important but now these spoilers. Why don’t we build on the proposal to pay former MPs? Awori is grassing.
Mbayo: There goes the ATM!
Fungaroo: This Lubwama sounds like someone very insecure, someone who knows he has no chance in 2021.
Mwijukye: He is using all his efforts to build a solid retirement ground.
Anite: Which is not bad if you asked me.
Fungaroo: I worry some of our colleagues will soon ask that taxpayers compensate them for the times they were not MPs going back to their birth.
Lubwama: Looking back, I suffered, did all sorts of unbecoming stuff in the name of comedy to earn a living. How do we get these issues to the President? Beti, can you help?
Munyagwa: I am inclined to remove Lubwama from this group.
Ssemujju: No, don’t. It is better he urinates here than when he dirties the floor of the House with these abominable claims. Let’s tolerate him here and so he doesn’t shame us any further in the Plenary.