Police stop Kakira, Scoul from laying off workers

As expected during such times, the police have their hands full. To ensure timely relay of letters stopping anything against the amendment of presidential age limit, a new department has been created in the Force to write and deliver memos against perceived culprits.
With news that Kakira and Scoul intend to lay off thousands of workers, the department thought this was in protest of the ongoing effort to amend Article 102b of the Constitution and wrote to the management of the two sugar factories asking them to stop any such attempts to lay off workers.
Meanwhile, the department also heard that Gen Kahinda Otafiire wants to go to the bush if his and Museveni’s wish to amend 102b is swatted. Police have written to Otafiire too. The letters are here reproduced as is.

The Joint Managing Directors,
Kakira Sugar Limited
Jinja
November 3, 2017

Intention to lay off 4,000 workers
It has come to our attention that your company intends to lay off up to 4,000 workers. The reasons you advance, among others, include that you are operating at only 50 per cent capacity due to lack of raw materials induced by competition that deducts a lot of sugarcane from reaching your factory based in Kakira.
Police is not aware of any such shortage and intelligence reports received shows that the intention to lay off good citizens who are thankful to the government of HE Yoweri K. Museveni for ushering in economic stability in 1986 is based on alliance with the Opposition. This is construed as incitful and cannot be tolerated.
You are, therefore, advised to note the following very carefully.
Firstly, the intention to lay off workers is economic sabotage. The economy is doing well. In 1986, you didn’t even have the capacity to employ 4,000 workers. You were not even here. The bad regime of Amin had expelled you. It was HE Yoweri K. Museveni who invited you back and gave back all your capital and properties. He created the conducive environment for you to employ those 4,000 citizens.
Needless to remind you, in days past, the UPDF would simply have taken over that factory after concluding that it is failing. But now that police have all the powers to make laws and also create disorder in every Opposition meeting, we won’t just sit and watch. We have recently made new laws even against the legislators, like stopping them from consulting outside their constituencies, so this is nothing.
Our intel is that your attempt at economic sabotage is premised on demand for Amuru land for sugarcane growing. That land, you will get. There are others matters that need urgency at the moment and that is why HE YK Museveni is not looking your side.
By this letter, you are therefore informed that should you proceed with the layoff, police will be left with no alternative but to use every reasonable force within the law it has created and defined to deal with the factory and its management.
Signed

Department of Stopping Intentions, Uganda Police Force

****************************

Rtd Maj Gen Kahinda Otafiire,
Kampala
October 29, 2017

Threat to go back to the bush over age limit
Police have noted several media reports quoting you, Hon Rtd Maj Gen Kahinda Otafiire, as saying that you will go back to the bush if Article 102b of the Constitution is not amended. We have no problem with that.
There are people who say we have selective application of the law by not summoning you and others for incitful language, but rest assured that we are in control.
Gen Otafiire, we respect your decision and we are ready to respond to your command at any time you so wish and escort you to the bush. Cognizant of the fact that 1981 and 2017 is such a wide gap (except of course where it applies to the visionary leadership of HE Yoweri K. Museveni), we have the following offers:
1. In 1986, you were a lean young man. Dr Besigye said on television that you used to jump over dead bodies. But now you are not all that. More than 30 years of living the life you fought for has changed so much in you. We shall assign you officers to take care of your many needs. For instance, your cheeks have grown. A man in the bush shouldn’t have such cheeks unless someone was there to hold it for them. Our officer will be at hand to do that for you whenever they are too heavy and burdening your movement in the bush.
2. In the bush, there are no toilets. One just unzips and squats then use leaves to sign off the download terms of engagement. But you have been using modern toilets for long and your weight is not good for squatting. We shall assign you the redundant Afande Omalla. He gained a lot of fame man-marking Besigye and knows a lot about green flies that hover around human excrement. Omalla will head a new police special squatting squad that will take care of you.
3. And this is the most important. Although we are able to run around and foil attempts to lynch pro-age limit MPs, we might not easily be able to recruit enough young men for you. Back then, they believed in the cause. We can’t sell the same idea today. But we shall think of how we can render many youths jobless so we recruit them like we did with crime preventers.
4. Meanwhile, please remember that there is little bush left now and that Ugandans are not as brave as we thought them to be. This explains why they just sulked on February 19, 2016, after that Dr Kiggundu announcement. We relied on mainly brave Rwandans back then, but Kigali is doing so well there won’t be Rwandans to sacrifice for you, Otafiire, any more.
Signed