The right time to introduce a partner to your parents

Though many youths always beat around the bush when talking to relatives about their relationships, there comes a time when they have to disclose their partners to their family members.
This time, however, is challenging to many young people. Some feel shy while others keep pushing the formal process to a later stage.

Emily Natukunda, a graduate from Makerere University, got into a relationship during her first year at university. However, she always felt uncomfortable when it came to introducing her boyfriend to her relatives.
“Whenever I would learn that any of my relatives was coming to my hostel, I would tell my boyfriend not to pass by the whole day. I did not want my relatives to have the wrong impression of me, thinking I was messing around with my studies,” she says.

Natukunda now lives with her boyfriend after introducing him to her family.
According to Rhitah Kirungi, a state attorney in Arua District, many youths get acquainted with their future partners while at university but keep the relationship to themselves and a few friends within their age bracket.
“There are various reasons for this, some of which are lack of commitment, fear of getting better options in the future and also fearing responsibilities,” she observes.
Kirungi adds that there is no specific time when one should introduce their partners to their parents.

Listen to your heart
Kirungi says if your partner has most of the qualities you have been looking for, then that is the person you should settle with.
“There is nothing wrong with a young adult introducing his or her partner to their parents, especially if the partner has the right qualities. Parents always feel pleased to get introduced to people with good morals,” she says.

According to Margaret Tumusiime, a youth counsellor with Girl Talk Uganda, it is important that you introduce someone to your parents only when you are convinced that you are ready to be with that person for the rest of your life.
“Do not introduce somebody to your parents today and then bring other potential partners after a short while. This indecisiveness will show your parent that you are not committed and also not unserious with your life,” she says.

Take up responsibilities
Kirungi says it is always advisable that you introduce a partner only when you are ready for any obligations that may arise.
“A partner comes with responsibilities; do not introduce some one when you cannot even afford to rent your own apartment or if your parents are still providing for your needs,” she says.

According to Natukunda, some partners are unpredictable. “They may pretend to love you yet their love is somewhere else. Make sure that the person you are taking home is into you. Gauge their reactions, study their emotions and ascertain if they are happy to get introduced to your home.”

She adds that one should study their partner because it is hard to hide some traits forever. “After a certain period of time, you will be able to understand your partner so avoid rushing to take somebody home, because sometimes they hide their characters.”