The Wanyotos’ office romance and eight years of dating

His story >

When and how did you meet your wife?
Well, it is a long story. We wedded on January 3, 2009. We met when I was working with Steadman, which has since been renamed Synovate. That was back in 1996.

What was your position there and what was hers?
I was the deputy manager media monitoring. I had just been moved from the research department at the time. She was on part-time employment in the media department since she was still a student at university.

How did you approach her?
I can tell you that first impression matters. Being a Mugisu and having been nurtured in our ways, I did the right thing; coffee first, and then the proposal came later.

Did you ask her out in the corridors or sent her an email?
I first contacted her through a friend. I asked my friend to ask her if I could have a date with her.

What was her reaction?
She said: “No, with whom?”, and then asked my friend to tell me to do the asking for myself next time.

How did you proceed?
I gathered strength and approached her myself.

What did you say when you faced her?
I asked her straight to her face if we could have coffee.

What was her reaction?
Like any woman, she was not to be rushed. She told me that she would get back to me. She thought about it for a week and then got back to me after a week. We went on a date.

What was going through your mind during the seven days?
I was not settled, as I was not ready for any regrets. Any serious man would be unsettled.

Where did you take her for the coffee?
The happening place was Nando’s at the time.

Did she arrive on time?
Yes, she did. Mobile phones were not very popular then.

How did you receive her when she arrived?
I stood and helped her to her sit. I then started unveiling my profile and she did too as we enjoyed our coffee.

What was your first impression of her?
She was the right choice for me

What made you think so?
She had all the qualities and she was very receptive.

What qualities?
She was beautiful, charming, bold, a good listener, quite informed and up to date. She was a lady.

So on the date, how did you prove yourself as a potential man for her?
She requested for time as she finds out more about me.

Did she let you know about her findings?
No, she just told me I am the right man for her.

What qualities did she highlight?
I was open-minded, handsome, the right choice and I was above all, a caring man.

For how long did you date?
I proposed to her in 2004 and we held our Introduction ceremony at her parents’ home.

Why did it take you eight years to officialise your relationship?
She was in school and I was just starting to climb up my employment ladder. Along the way, she was involved in a terrible accident, so this slowed down our plans.

At what point did you meet her Ssenga (aunt)?
I met her as we were planning the Introduction ceremony.

When did you meet her parents?
I met her parents casually while we were still dating, but officially at our introduction.

What did you talk about when you met the Ssenga?
It was my wife’s role to introduce me to her as her future husband. We then met and got to know one another.

What has made your relationship work?
Love and patience. We are now parents and the Lord has blessed us with four children.

How important has patience been in your relationship?
Patience builds relations which lead to planning for development.

What are some of developments you have undertaken together?
A number; building, education, buying land and planning to import a nail-making machine.

How much is your wife involved in all this?
We are one in all we do and plan.

When do you do all these things?
We have to balance between office work and family business. We always start an investment every end of year.

What have been the highlights of your marriage?
We have been married for six years now and have been blessed with children, to whom we are good role models. We are a family and friends.

What is the biggest challenge you have gone through as a couple?
Marriage is a continuous learning process. We sometimes forget days like Valentine’s Day since we have it every day.

What is the hardest relationship challenge you have gone through?
Balancing between my inner and external family. One cannot do everything and be everywhere.

Have you ever cheated on your wife in any way?
No and my faith does not allow. I keep praying over it.

Have you been seduced by a woman before?
No, only these funny Facebook posts on my wall sometimes.

How does she feel about such messages?
They are from women we do not know. And they are on my wall. She is not a Facebook person.

What romantic things do you do for her?
I always compliment her, buy her flowers, perfumes and bake for her a cake on her birthday. I am always with her in hospital when she goes into labour.

Do you open the car door for her?
I do when she is wearing high-heeled shoes.

What things does she do to make you happy?
She buys my clothes, compliments me and she cooks good food.

What’s your definition of love?
It is a permanent friendship of two.

What do you think of relationships today?
Things have changed. During our introduction ceremonies, things were not for show off as today. I read in the press about relationships being based on money.

And what about the way young people actually relate?
It is their time, with influence of access to the Internet.

Her story >

Describe Anthony in three words...
Loving, caring and my husband.

When did you first meet him?
It was in the mid-90s

What was your first impression of him?
I felt unique. I felt he was meant for me. He is a caring man.

How old were you then?
I was 22 years old at the time we met.

At what point did you realise he was making a serious move on you?
When he asked me out for coffee and the conversation we had convinced me that he would be a serious man and I could trust with my heart.

What was your reaction when he introduced the subject of dating you?
I thought, “why me?” That is the question that I got in my mind.

What was your dating experience?
He took his time to know me better and this allowed us time to become friends and lovers.

What convinced you that he was a serious man?
He kept asking my friends about me. I guess he was doing his homework about me, trying to know the kind of woman he loved.

After how long did he propose to marry you?
On our third or fourth date.

Did you accept immediately?
No, I had to do a background check. This must have created a bit of anxiety in him but I needed to know the person I was to spend my life with.

After how long did you start having children?
After our introduction ceremony we started having children. We were ready to start a family since we had made it official to our parents that we were serious.

You have been relating for about 20 years now, what lessons can you share about your relationship?
It is important to have patience, openness, forgiveness and love in marriage. These have kept our marriage strong and lasting.

What is the biggest challenge you have faced as a couple?
When I got a severe accident. It was a trying moment for me and him because it pushed our introduction a bit.

How did you cope with this challenge?
Prayer and comfort from family and friends.

What have been the highlights of your relationship?
Six years in marriage and growing strong.

What do you like about each other?
Care, love and we are friends for life.

How did you navigate your cultural differences?
We are all Bagisu at home.

What advice do you have for women who date much older men?
When there is love, age does not matter.

How often do you get away as a couple, just for ‘you time’?
We have children and we gave up on getting away to keep them.

What do you do to keep the fire burning?
Small things matter a lot.

Besides being Mrs Wanyoto, what else do you do?
I am a traffic manager at NBS television, farmer and mother.

Do you choose his clothes for the day?
Yes.

What language do you use at home?
English, Luganda and Lumasaaba.

Quick five
What is his favourite song?
Olimujawa omussaja asinga by Afrigo band.
His favourite meal?
Matooke and chicken..
The colour of his favourite shirt?
White.
What does he like to do when he is not working?
Farming and reading political books.
What’s one thing he never leaves home without?
Praying.