Luzira inmates demand reward

James Nsubuga lives in Kisaasi, on Wednesday morning, he paid a courtesy call to Empty Tin in Wandegeya, but degenerated his visit into a weird talk. Nsubuga claimed that something very bizarre had happened to him in the night; he had gone to bed in Kisaasi but woken up in Luzira prison.
Apparently, he had asked his two wives what happened and none of them would respond. But he had a very interesting encounter behind the high rise walls of Luzira prison.
“Mister, if you will, please, we are experiencing some brain activity at the moment. Allow us be productive without your bizarre talk,” I said to him.
But he wasn’t taking it. He dived deeper into his claims and emerged with more accounts of how inmates were animated with demands for recognition for their “invaluable” contribution to fighting various vices in society.
“I had just arrived when this big guy entered the cell I was in with other inmates. He announced that he had been to the warden’s office and found a news bulletin on the prisons officer’s radio,” Nsubuga was saying. “He said a certain ‘parenting international had awarded the Leo for fighting corruption.’”

Apparently, the inmate was talking about Transparency International. There had been isolated reports that the watchdog had recognised the Leo for outstanding efforts in fighting graft in the country. Bashir, for that turned out to be his name, said the people who gave the award should also consider him for one, boasting that he has a very impressive CV that can sell Uganda on the global map.
“Why do you say so?” asked a quiet lanky inmate with chewing stick in his mouth. Bashir, with the front teeth the size of a rhino’s toe, grinned and meekly answered that he was joking. At this, another inmate said Bashir probably made some sense. The lanky inmate cocked his ears.
“Bashir is a wetland engineer. He encroaches, he doesn’t use land titles. He just wakes up one day and feels like it and gets down to it,” the inmate said of the convicted serial rapist. The lanky inmate shrugged and buried his head to his book again.

“Bashir should stop calling himself a wetland engineer. It is perversion of the lowest order,” said another inmate. “You know, the award you are talking about, maybe this parenting international thing reasoned that the man, even when he steals resources, uses it for the common good, or builds factories or hospitals or something. Anything. It helps the community…”
“Yes, I heard last time somewhere in the playground this guy claim that Mwenda had said corruption is good as if someone stole resources to build factories that create jobs,” another inmate cut in.

“I don’t like being cut, you know that?” the man who was speaking said with a stern face to the younger inmate who had interjected with his knowledge on Mwenda’s corruption philosophy. “As I was saying, Bashir is perverted. When you rape, you are selfish. You are the only one gaining, the rest around you are in pain. So what is there to compare?”
“I only raped, I didn’t kill people with the coldness of your actions, Eddy” Bashir shot back. “You even dismembered your victims.”
“I killed only the weevils, they had to die. If this parenting international thing knew how big my service in removing vermin from society was, they would come here and fly me to the moon to be awarded for such important contribution,” Eddy said.

“How come I’ve never heard of this parenting international thing you are all talking about? What kind of awards do they give?” a shirtless inmate asked. They called him Peto and from the way the others treated him, he was like the servant of the cell. Eddy said Peto wouldn’t understand “these things” and the rest ignored him.

Malisi announced that if parenting international was going to award anyone for service to Ugandans, then his name should be top of any list.
“I had this cute campuser who lived large on my robbery. If you look at my situation with that of the man who has been awarded by parenting international, it’s the same. He works for his family. I was robbing for love. I helped my love look good and own everything she wanted<” Malisi said.

“Stop the nonsense, guys. It’s past time for soup d’état!” shouted the man who was reading in the corner.
So what was soup d’état? Empty Tin asked James Nsubuga. “They were going to steal ‘balanced diet’ for the wardens.

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