Sunday humour: Minister resigns after breaching own coronavirus regulations

The minister of Health has expressed regret at what happened during her interaction with a women’s group in Lira and offered her resignation.

In a Thursday letter to the President, the minister said she had reflected on her conduct and realised that she fell way short of the creed she professed.

“I’m, therefore, offering to resign from my position as proof that the government is serious in its efforts to defeat Covid-19 and, above all, save lives of its citizens,” the minister said.

The Health minister was last week filmed mingling with women during a visit to Lira in what the public has said was electioneering.

The minister, who has been ex-officio, recently announced her intentions to run for Lira Woman MP seat.

She has been at the forefront of the national response to combat the spread of the coronavirus pandemic and drafted most the regulations that government put in place, including social distancing and wearing of facemask.

But these were not the only issues as her own ministry is believed to have had a hand in the government’s decision to go for ‘scientific elections’ and ban public rallies.

“As a doctor, I should have done better. As a minister in charge, I should have done better. As a human being, I should have done better. Yet now the only thing I can do better is to offer my resignation, For God and My Country,” she said in the letter.

This column has seen a copy of the minister’s resignation letter, which was addressed to the president and copied to the speaker and Joseph Kabuleta. Efforts to verify the authenticity of the letter were very fruitful.

“This is crap!” shouted the editor. “How on earth would you even buy into such ‘fake news’? Why would she copy in Kabuleta in the first place? Do you think it is Njoroge writing this so-called resignation letter?”

This column thought the editor was being too harsh. The best thing to do at the moment was to find evidence so we hit the trenches to hunt for it.

“You said I wake you up at 6pm to go and bring food for Palmo,” my wife said, shaking my shoulder.

“Wait and see, I’m getting the evidence,” I said, according to her.

“What evidence? Please wake up and help bring food for the dog.”
Outside, I meet one of my neighbours and he shoots his tongue rather acridly, announcing that many people appeared to be resigning from one thing or the other.

“Munamawulire (newsman), Odonga Otto has finally come good on his threats to quit FDC. He’s gone. Even Winnie Kiiza won’t seek re-election in Kasese. But what botheres me is…” he said.

“Yes?”

“Why can’t Besigye also step aside for someone else?”

“I just dreamt that a full minister had resigned and you’re here talking of Odonga Otto? Did he cry?”

‘Why would he cry?”

“For the cameras. And at being overwhelmed with emotions for having finally quit FDC and used a pink poster for his re-election bid.”

After serving Palmo, I sat to watch her eat.

I wondered why my head had cooked up such a dream that a Ugandan minister could resign.