Trust is a choice in relationships

Thursday October 27 2016
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Trust in a relationship is a choice

I ‘trust you’ is by far a better compliment than ‘I love you’. Once trust is broken, it’s hard or close to impossible to mend it. Much as we claim that it’s hard to trust people, we have the ability to trust someone even after committing the worst. People with trust issues will drive a sober soul insane. The habit of sneaking around, checking your spouse’s telephone and calling all the women/men in his/her phone will kill you before your days.
Truth be told, your spouse will even be more secretive the moment you show them that you do not trust them. Nothing can stop a person from cheating if they want to.

Don’t lose your sleep over his WhatsApp chats or sulk every time he gets a phone call at night. Whether married or not, everyone has that phone call they will receive with their voice toned down; it might not be cheating but it might be some silly advice she or he is offering to a friend, trying to get a loan or ask for forgiveness. Everyone is entitled to their space. Just give it to him/her and you will live happily ever after.

Lack of trust in your spouse will drive them further into the hands of someone who might pretend to trust them. Mistrust will drain you emotionally. Would you rather spend your day thinking about who he or she might be with? Every time you see your spouse laugh with some ka babe, you become a roaring lion desiring to jump on her and pull her hair off the scalp.

That is not how a human being is supposed to live. You chose to date or marry that person but if you cannot trust them, blame yourself if that marriage fails.

If you take your own insecurities and twist them into your spouse’s flaws, you are exposing your heart to regular heartbreaks. Lack of trust will blind you; you will see a wrong in every action.

Francis bought a new WhatsApp line and he started to secretively chat with his own wife Brenda. He said all the good things a man can ever tell a woman in a test to see whether she is capable of falling in love with another man. Eventually, Brenda picked interest and Francis filed for divorce.


Brenda came to us crying over this but honestly, why test your wife? Just do and say the right things. I actually concluded that Francis was tired of Brenda but he didn’t know how to break it off so he opted for the ‘trust’ tool just to get rid of her.

If you have trust issues, deal with them before getting married other than torturing everyone. Of course you will find flaws in everyone but don’t search so deep because truthfully, everyone has a dark side they don’t want to share.
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