‘Do not rush, take your time and date’

Paul Kasami and Fiona Mary Nabuduwa Kasami dated for more than two years before getting married

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Paul Kasami and Fiona Mary Nabuduwa Kasami dated for more than two years before finally getting married. This, according to Kasami helped them get to know each other better and set a firm foundation for their marriage.

She is reserved while he is the opposite. However, in her quietness, he finds his outspoken nature a good balance. Fiona Mary Nabuduwa Kasami is a tour consultant at Great Lakes Safaris Limited while her husband, Paul Kasami is tour sales manager at the same company.

The two met at the company, which they joined in 2015. Nabuduwa had joined as a salesperson while Kasami worked at the reservations department.

“We became close when we started leading prayers together at work. At Great Lakes Safaris, we usually pray on Monday and Friday morning before we start work, so we would organise prayer sessions where we would invite our colleagues, read the scripture and basically just talk to God,” Nabuduwa says.

After several of these prayer sessions, Nabuduwa realised that they liked the same scriptures; Psalms 103 (‘bless the Lord, oh my soul and forget not his benefit) and Psalms 91 (he that dwelleth in the secret place of the most high and many more other scriptures’).

Because of this, they became close friends and three years later, they started dating.  Nabuduwa says she fell in love with Kasami because of his character. She says he is God-fearing, kind, loving and respectful. “Paul stood with me through the good and the bad. He understands me better than anyone else,” she says.

Kasami on the other hand fell in love with Nabuduwa because “she is down to earth, reliable and above all, she loves God.”  “She is also tall, beautiful and loyal. Many times, I would travel to the Rwanda office for days but she would call or send a message to see whether I was okay,” he adds.

Nabuduwa felt convinced to commit to Kasami when he finally took her to see his parents and then started talking about meeting hers too. At that point, she knew he was serious.

Dating

She looks back at their dating phase with so much happiness remembering the time they would spend together at the weekend. At the time, she lived in Makerere with her brother and at the weekend, Kasami was more than glad to spend time at her home. This gave them a lot of time to relax after a long work week and get to know each other better. In the evening, they would take walks around Makerere University while holding hands.

On Thursdays, they would meet during lunch time prayers and here they would pray for their matrimonial journey and the family God would eventually bless them with.

Kasami says because they dated for two years, this gave them enough time to know each other’s likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses and basically prepared them for the journey ahead. He was in love and convinced she was the one. He planned to propose to marry her.

Proposal

On what he describes as ‘a historical day’, he got down on one knee, at a friend’s place, and asked Nabuduwa to be his wife.

“It was not easy. She does not like surprises, so it is always better to just tell her things upfront, but this time, I tried to weave some magic. To buy the ring, I went with one of her friends who has almost the same finger size and bought the ring which I kept for about a week as I planned the proposal,” he says.

 “On the day of the proposal, we drove from Nakawuka in Wakiso District after a marriage training session to our friend’s home. We had organised with some other friends to decorate the place with candles and flowers and play music in the background. The moment she walked through the door, I popped the question,” he adds.

Wedding

On October 3, 2020, the two got married. To Nabuduwa, being in love started making sense when she dated and later married her husband. This is because he loves her unconditionally and accepts her the way she is.

Kasami on the other hand says Nabuduwa made him realise that when you meet the right person, then planning to settle down or marry that person becomes an easy decision.

When the lovebirds committed to love one another for eternity, they agreed to always have a date night every week no matter what, just the two of them talking and enjoying each other’s company.

Although they had planned to delay starting a family for a year, they now have a one-month old daughter called Eliana

Future plans

 The couple has already started saving and their dream is to build a home and then use the remaining money to travel.

Nabuduwa says as couple, they set out to have a happy, Godly, and exemplary marriage, one that could evidently represent God and inspire many who are not yet married.

To fortify their harmony, they plan to clearly communicate and talk through issues when and if they arise.

Finances

At the end of the month, the couple looks at how much they need to save, invest and expenses and then decide how to go about each each together.

Advice

According to Nabuduwa, in order to have a successful relationship, partners must learn to forgive each other since nobody is perfect and sometimes, things go wrong.

To Kasami, a lifetime partner needs to be a friend. ‘‘There is no one who knows you better,’’ he says.

“Also, take your time, it is until you get married that you look back and realise it was good not to rush. That time spent dating will set you up for a better marriage since it is during this time you can honestly talk about anything. Finally, abstain from sex before marriage (like we did). The rewards after will be spectacular,” Kasami says.

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