He is a good man 

Asan Oyuk and Dorris Apio crossed paths at Gulu university in 2015. They share their journey with Esther Tusiime Byoona

“I joined Gulu University in 2013 and Dorris joined in 2015,” Asan recalls.

He says in 2015 when Dorris had joined the university, she and some other colleagues joined Christian union. After some time, there was a praise and worship rally.

“The rally was for 7 pm but I think they mistook 7 pm for 7 am, so as we were on our way to class for a lecture, me and my friend saw Dorris and her friend entering campus in choir uniform and they were so smart,” he adds.

 “I was amazed but in my mind there was a place Dorris had settled in and her picture remained at the back of my mind,” he explains.

 “I remember on that day we asked them why they were dressed for the rally so early and when we told them they were too early they had to change their outfits. That started a good friendship between me and her,” Asan adds.

Becoming Close

Asan says in December 2013, he was in a relationship that he quit.

“The relationship started failing, but the split was a gradual thing. It did not happen overnight,” he recalls.

He says at the time the relationship ended, he was at peace and Dorris found a gap.

“One day I started thinking about how good of a person she was and the fact that we had been spending some time together, I realised the potential that was there. We became closer friends and I started visiting her,” he says.

Dorris became a Vice Chairperson in the Union in 2016 and it was an added advantage to him.

“I was glad that she had a niche of leadership, and on my list, that is what I wanted,” he says.

Asan says when he graduated from the University in 2017, he left when a foundation had been created between the two of them for courtship although they had not talked about a relationship.

He says he had prayed about the relationship and had felt at ease with her and he knew she was the one for him.

Attractions 

“I was attracted to the knowledge God had gifted her with, her beauty and her height, I always wanted a tall lady,” he adds.

He notes her motherly character was also something he really valued and loved in her.

For Alice, Asan’s kindness and organisation were convincing traits,

“There was a day I saw him talking to an old woman and he was so kind to the woman and I really loved the kindness in him,” Apio recalls.

Dorris says Asan being an organised person is a trait that attracted her to him.

“He is an organised person, if he finds you in a disorganised state you will become organised by force,” she says.

Proposal 

“She was not aware of the proposal and at the time she was working in town, I called her to some restaurant in Ntinda, we kept talking and I proposed to her and she was so excited,” he notes.

“I knew he was going to propose but he took so long, when he finished campus he did not say anything though we kept in touch. I knew I wanted to be with him so when he proposed, I was so shocked since I did not expect him to do it the way he did,” she adds.

The proposal happened in 2018.

Functions 

He paid his first visit to Dorris’s mother in 2019 with his cousin's brother in Kole District. He says they had an amazing visit at her mother’s home.

The kukyala happened in Lira in 2019 at Dorris’ parents' home. 

“At the kukyala, the dates were set for the introduction and wedding which were slated for March,” she says.

The wedding and introduction were planned close to each function. The introduction was on 2nd March 2019 and the wedding was on 9th March 2019.

Preparations 

“When I graduated from campus, I got a job and started saving some money that really helped us. Our friends also contributed a lot.”  Asan comments.

God provided for us because it was not easy. I had just finished campus and I did not have a lot of money and my husband wanted to marry me. It was a tricky situation for me but God came through for me and my parents stood with me,” she says. 

“We had several meetings for the functions that helped us raise money for the functions,” he adds.

Asan notes that the difficulty they faced during the functions included transporting their guests.

Service Providers 

She explains that in her village there is a SACCO that helped in providing food, tents, and chairs for the introduction.

“I was happy when I got to know that they were covering most of the things for the introduction,” she recalls.

Asan says a good friend offered to do the photography and videography for the functions for free.

He explains that the decorator was from Tororo.

Disappointments

“The decorator showed us the decor, we paid for it and she delivered different decor for the wedding,” Asan says.

He explains that nothing could be done since it was brought on the day of the wedding.

“The saloon lady disappointed me, she told us to go early in the morning before the wedding, when we went she was not there, we waited for the entire morning,” she recalls.

Dorris says due to the time that had gone, the lady did makeup that was not to her expectations.

Guest List

All the guests that the couple invited for the wedding showed up for the function.

“We had 350 guests for the wedding, it was an open invitation,” he says.

Premarital counselling

The couple did their counselling from three different churches.

“At my former church, the pastor met and counselled us, the ministry I was helping in starting had elders that also counselled us and the church we got married in,” he says.

Asan says he learnt how to balance work life and ministry.

He says he learnt how it is important for men to show love to their families.

“I learnt that respect covers everything, if a husband slaps you, do not slap back,” she adds.

She learnt that a woman does not answer back in the midst of disagreements or turmoil.

“A woman does not need to answer back if not required,” Dorris says.

Irrespective of the disappointments, Asan says he was happy with the services provided by the service providers for the wedding and introduction.

Honeymoon

The couple had their honeymoon in Eastern Uganda. Their vacation was for 3 days since Asan had to go back to work.

“We planned to have a longer honeymoon later,” he recalls.

The couple spent the time talking more about their journey ahead.

Advice 

“With God all things are possible,” he says.

“What God has ordained, nothing can stop. God will always bring people who can help along the journey,” Dorris adds.

Tidbits

Bride: Dorris Apio

Groom: Asan Oyuk

Reception:  Deliverance Church Gardens Tororo

Church: Deliverance Church Tororo