How courtship prepared a couple for marriage

When Jackson Mucunguzi, a senior superintendent of police, first met Wicklin Nagasha, a key accounts manager sales and administration at Avery East Africa (AEA) Limited, he was struck by her and wanted to get to know her immediately. However, two years would pass before he had the opportunity to do so.

It all started in 2009 when Jackson’s longtime friend Frank Mwesigwa asked him to escort him to meet Wicklin. Frank was writing a book and wanted to borrow money to print it. Wicklin, his cousin, agreed to help. The two men met Wicklin at Uganda House in Kampala. Jackson was immediately attracted to her. So he asked Frank for her number, but he was hesitant to give it.

“I had been asking Frank for her contact but because I was undergoing a two-year police training (cadet intake 2010-2012), he was hesitant to give it to me, citing the cadet course’s pressure,” Jackson says.

Jackson did not see Wicklin again until December 2012 at her sister’s wedding in Mbale District. Jackson was an invited guest and Wicklin was a maid of honour. It was a chance for them to reconnect.

“I did not tell her but I was already deeply in love with her. We caught up after the party and this time, I got her contact,” he says. 
Jackson was amazed by Wicklin’s words of wisdom. As he headed for an outing with his friends after the party, Wicklin asked him to be vigilant since it is never safe to party deep in the night. 

“She said, ‘Be careful, you may die from there because of women and alcohol.’ She remarked that I needed to be calm and not stubborn,” Jackson recounts.

Smitten
Jackson then knew she was concerned about his wellbeing. Although he wanted to make his intentions clear, he worried that Wicklin would not marry a police officer. So, when she agreed to a date after he asked, he was happy.
Jackson, however, was not the only one of the two who was impressed.

 Wicklin was too, saying when she met him again in 2012, despite the fact that it was their first time to interact, she found him to be honest. He did not pretend to be something he was not in order to impress her. He shared his past relationship experiences with ease. She also notes that he worked hard to keep in touch, and that stood out for her.
 
“He did not rest after getting my contact. He called on a daily basis and made his intentions clear; he wanted to marry me,” says Wicklin.

Keeper
After the 2012 Christmas holidays, the two went on another date, at Serena Hotel in Kampala. It was here that Jackson says he saw firsthand how responsible Wicklin was. 
He had underestimated the cost of the date and had carried Shs300,000. To his surprise, the bill was Shs400,000.

“I politely asked her to pay the balance and she did.  I knew she was the kind of woman who would be able to help in times of crisis. We started having financial conversations and also disclosed our salaries and other streams of income to each other. This has helped and kept us financially accountable, to-date,” Jackson shares.
It was also during that date that Jackson told Wicklin that he wanted to marry her. She told him she would only say yes if she learnt more about his background.

The two then travelled to Jackson’s home in Rukungiri District in early 2013. Again at this point, Wicklin proved Jackson’s sincerity as he took her to his abandoned home even though he had rich relatives that he could have used to impress Wicklin.
After the visit, their courtship began.

Courtship
Wicklin and Jackson’s courtship that began in January 2013 until November 2014 was filled with conversations about marriage and how they would make theirs work. They wrote their family vision, mission, core values and a philosophy on a board which still hangs in their sitting room. 
While Wicklin had perceptions about policemen, their courtship helped debunk these. For example, she had been told many policemen are not faithful in marriage.

“Although I kept thinking about all the negative things people had told me, I was strong because I knew that Jackson was honest and sincere. He had told me about his past (both the good and bad) without hiding anything from me,” narrates Wicklin.

The two also talked about coming from different backgrounds. Although Wicklin’s parents were still alive, Jackson was an orphan. Wicklin would always want to clebrate her birthday, something Jackson was not used to. But with time, he embraced this while Wicklin accepted that Jackson was strong-willed and fiercely independent since he had grown up without his parents.
Finally, on November 29, 2014 Wicklin introduced Jackson at her parents’ home in Ntungamo District. She says it was a remarkable day and her parents welcomed Jackson with open arms. Jackson was amazed by the lively convoy that accompanied him as well as fellow cadet officers who showed up in large numbers. 

Wedding
Wicklin and Jackson wedded at St Francis Chapel, Makerere, on December 6, 2014 and had their reception at Pearl of Africa Gardens, Kabalagala.
The couple says they avoided all the stress that comes with wedding preparations by paying all service providers before the wedding day.

“With a budget ranging between Shs80m and and Shs100m, people gave and we even had excess. We had hired Mercedes Benz cars as transport but realised we had surplus money so we opted for an open roof car for us and bikes to escort it,” Wicklin shares.

So far
Their first year of marriage was tough as they had to adjust to each other’s character but they got familiar with each other and have since learnt to live happily together.
The couple says that although they have faced many challenges such as influence from third parties, they have overcome these by focusing on positivity. 

Blessed with three children, Jackson says they prioritise their relationship before the children. “We first think of ourselves, then they come next. We know in the near future they will go, we love them and give them the care they need but they do not affect our love.”  

Importance of vows
Wicklin observes that it is important to focus on the vows said on the wedding day. The vows, she says, should prepare couples for the future. She admits that she was not as excited as she thought she would be on the wedding day because she knew the vows she was taking were a serious matter: “I was looking at how the future was going to be and that is where my worries came from. I kept praying to God to be with us as I read the vows.”
Jackson shares that the exchange of vows was a humbling and educative experience as well as exciting, especially when they asked him to unveil his bride.