Lessons from the queen consort

There are entrenched double standards when it comes to women and morality. A man can go wild and society will give his behavior cute names such as sowing oats. But for a woman, well, you have no such reprieve.

Remember the woman caught committing adultery who was saved by Jesus? Where was her partner in crime? Things have not changed much since then, which is why most women strive to live a life that is prim and proper.

But sometimes life throws us curve balls that we might never recover from. That is why it is gratifying when you see one of us rising above the harsh labels and the institutional prejudices to take the crown. What the new queen has achieved is no mean feat and it behooves everyone to sit up and take notes.

If you are an avid follower of the royal shenanigans, you, just like me probably never ever expected Camilla to be declared queen.

Biting hatred

To begin with Camilla was hated with the same fervor Princess Diana was loved. She was called all names and blamed for everything that went wrong within the Diana- Charles relationship. She was the most hated woman and was considered a notorious home wrecker by the royalists. But she took all this in her stride; she did not run to any media agency to give her side of the story or write a tell-all book to gain public sympathy as some other royals have done.

Her silent stoicism showed us that life will not always turn out as we have planned but with patience and a bit of class, you can turn a bad situation around. Her silence is also a mark of her upper class refined upbringing which is lacking so much in our current social media crazy world.

Tenacity

That is the other great quality I have come to admire about her. I cannot imagine what it took to withstand all that consistent torrent of negativity that came her way. Camilla had a lot of things going against her but most especially, the fact that she was a divorcee in a society that considers divorce taboo.

She most probably knew what she was entering into but she chose to stay in it for the long haul. I know so many would have given up, especially when Charles was playing happy families with Diana but she patiently, waited in the wings without drama until her time came.

Avoid pity patrties

Do not indulge in regrets because it does not bring any rewards. Many people enter relationships but live the rest of their lives regretting them. You probably know one or two people who are always going on and on about their spouses or exes failings that they are now identified by that. This is not something new either.

Remember the woman at the well whom we all know for having had five husbands? According to her, that is all she had ever done. This surely cannot be true; she must have been much more than that. But she so regretted her choices that they came to dominate the rest of her life.

Camilla comes from a different school of thought, she realised that she was already in with both feet so she chose to make the most of it. Just know that flagellating your body with whips of iron in the middle of the night, soaking your pillow with tears or emolliating yourself before your vulture of a pastor only ages you and makes you look foolish.

If you find yourself in a less than perfect situation just remember that those who love you do not need any explanations about your actions as long as you are happy and those who do not love you will not accept the explanations anyway. So just live your life in a way that makes sense to you and on your own terms, after all Camilla did it and she has been rewarded with the most coveted crown in England.

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