She makes me feel like the luckiest man

When you spend time with Job and Solm Katende, it is hard not to notice their affection towards one another. They hold hands, smile as they speak and seek each other’s opinion even on the simplest of things. Although they have been married for only a year, they have known each other much longer. 

An Information Technology (IT) scientist and farmer, Solm describes their meeting as predestined. As a part-time job, she would work at her elder brother’s Internet cafe downtown Kampala, where Job, a freight forwarder, was a regular client. From their interactions, the two became friends. 

Falling in love
However, in 2009, Solm developed romantic feelings for Job and at some point, she was convinced he was the one. However, he seemed unsure. On sensing that Job was not as serious as she expected, she left Uganda for South Africa, without notifying him. A week later, after realising Solm’s telephone number was always unavailable, Job started investigations to find out what was happening. He was later told she had travelled out of the country. Solm believed this would be the push he needed to ‘up his game’. 

“After realising that I had left the country, he begged me to come home. However, before getting on the plane to return, I had to be sure he was serious about the relationship. Even when he sent me an air ticket, I hesitated until I was convinced about his intentions for me,” she recalls. 

Qualities
What Solm had not realised was that Job had also fallen in love with her because she was open minded. He had purposed to do everything possible to prove to her that he was not toying with her feelings. When she finally returned, the two agreed to dating and looking at a life together as husband and wife. They also started to seriously discuss the possibility of meeting each other’s parents. 

“One day, I took him to visit my parents, although we were boyfriend and girlfriend then. Because my parents were not well off, I wanted to see how he would react when he finally saw where I come from. However, he respected where I come from and most importantly, he created a very strong bond with my parents; Nnalongo Nansamba and my beloved late father, Ssalongo Anthony Mukasa,” she recalls.

After that meeting, she was assured of his love, no matter her background. That also boosted her confidence and she started to believe in herself.  Job had also hoped this visit would push Solm to start spending some time at his house and help him turn it into a home. And his prayers were answered because Solm started visiting him often and helping out where she could.

“Her level of organisation was impressive. When she was done organising my house, I knew I had made the right decision,” he confesses. 

Dating 
While dating, couples look for a number of ways to make each date interesting. For Job and Solm, their favourite dating routine was to visit the beach every weekend. However, to make it more interesting, they would not drive but use public transport. 
The couple says this way, they would enjoy each other’s company but also listen to the many interesting conversations that would take place as they made their way to Entebbe. 

“One weekend, my husband had no money but he wanted us to go for a dinner date. We decided to visit Steers Food Court in Kampala and when we got there, we only ordered one ice cream cup and a chicken pie. After dinner, we walked to Jinja Road and only when were tired, we boarded a boda boda home. Unfortunately, the heavens opened up and we were soaking wet by the time we arrived at his home in Makindye, Kampala. However, because we loved each other, we found moments to laugh about in each situation and this date was no different,” Solm narrates.

Patience
I love Job because he is also a very patient man. “I remember the day he visited me at my home but I had not told him that I had travelled to Jinja to attend a friend’s wedding. Although he waited from 7pm to 12am, when I entered the house, he hugged me and was smiling,” she says, adding that although such situations would usually bring out the moody and gloomy side of someone, her man just smiled through it. 
Because of this, her heart was further convinced he was the man with whom she would walk down the aisle. 

The marriage
“My hubby did not propose, it was all traditional. One morning, he jokingly asked me to consult my father on what it would take for him to give us his blessings to be married. When I consulted my father, he said all he needed was a Bible and Holy Rosary. After that, he told me to ask for the way forward from the elders. My parents asked him to write a letter to my Ssenga (aunt) requesting for permission to visit her. She accepted,” Solm recounts.

Job visited Solm’s Ssenga and in September last year, she introduced him to her parents. A week later, the two tied the knot at St Paul’s Cathedral, Namirembe in Kampala. 
At the end of her wedding day, she knelt down and thanked God for blessing her with a wonderful man, who fulfilled her dream when both her parents were still alive to witness her wedding. 

She takes care of me
To this day, Solm continues to nourish Job’s heart, body and soul with affection. “She makes sure I am taken care of. For example, she never allows me to leave the house without taking breakfast. What can I say… my wife pampers me and I feel like the luckiest man alive,” a smitten Job says. 

The couple say they always put their family first in each and everything they do and appreciate each other every day. They also forgive and forget because they cannot stand the idea of a ‘cold war’. 
“We resolve our issues as quickly as possible. We have also purposed to never allow our children to see us arguing,” he adds.

“What we have learnt is to avoid the blame game. We each take responsibility for a conflict and look for ways of resolving it together. Each time we feel like going out, we do. We also travel a lot to relax and get rid of stress. We sometimes remind ourselves about our past fights and find a way to laugh about it. This way, it kind of becomes a joke and this keeps us going,” Solm shares.

Job says it is good to love and to be loved. “It is just natural. I believe God made us that way. Relationships keep the world moving. We plan to grow our businesses, look after our family, grow old together and explore the world,” Jobs adds.