She never said yes in front of my parents

Oben Kithende embarked on a journey to Mbarara for his internship at Crooze FM in 2013.  Little did he know that this would intertwine his destiny with that of Suzan Asasira, then a student at YMCA-Mbarara Campus.

With time, a friendship blossomed between Oben and Suzan. However, as fate would have it, their paths deviated in 2014 when Oben completed his internship and returned to his home district of Kasese. 

The distance tested their connection, but the bond persisted through social media interactions.
In 2015, Suzan had to undertake her teaching practice in Kasese District where Oben, demonstrated unwavering support, and worked tirelessly to secure a placement for her. 

“After securing a place for her in a certain school, I felt relieved. At that juncture, I knew I had a friend with whom I could share my challenges and triumphs. Little did I realise that this connection would eventually lead us to the moment of introducing her to my parents,” he recalls.

The ‘failed’ proposal
Oben revealed that the first attempt to propose to her took place at his parents’ home when Suzan had gone visiting. However, on that particular day, she did not say the anticipated “yes”. 

 “I first proposed to Suzan in the presence of my parents, after we had enjoyed a delightful dinner. I chose this moment because I was apprehensive that she would reject my proposal if I did not take this step. She had already exhibited respect for my parents and I assumed she would automatically say YES. However, I got paralysed by her silence in the presence of my parents and some of my siblings,” Oben shares.

He said Suzan’s silence left him with numerous unanswered questions. That night, his heart grappled with the realisation that he might have lost the person he was genuinely prepared to settle with. 

Suzan said the reason behind her silence was, “I thought he was kidding (joking),” and the unexpected setting took her by surprise.
“I was not prepared for a serious proposal at that moment.”

Accepting the proposal
However, two weeks later, Suzan paid a visit to Oben at his rented house in Kasese Town. During this visit, she took the initiative to express her desire to visit Oben’s parents, unaware of the purpose behind this visit. 
To Oben’s surprise, during the next visit to his parents and after a dinner, Suzan, in conversation with Oben’s parents, disclosed that she had accepted the marriage proposal.

“When we were going home, I was not expecting this at all because I had lost hope. She had not said yes on the first day I proposed to her,” he says. 
Navigating a prolonged period of long-distance courtship, the couple demonstrated resilience and commitment despite the geographical separation, Oben ensured regular communication through phone calls, connecting with Suzan about thrice a day. 

Suzan, in turn, said she made a conscious effort to spend holidays with Oben in Kasese, solidifying her dedication to their relationship and the prospect of marriage.

The introduction
In 2016, the couple formalised their commitment, marking the occasion with an introduction ceremony. Notably, this event followed the joyous arrival of their first children. 
Oben recalled the intimate nature of the celebration, highlighting the modest gathering of close friends and families held within the confines of a warm indoor setting.

Highlights 
“The most memorable moment for me was seeing Suzan kneeling for me at their introduction. It was her first time kneeling and addressing me as sweetheart in the presence of her parents.” 

For Suzan, it was seeing her husband’s outfit, noting that he looked particularly smart in a suit—a departure from their initial meeting in 2013. 
She expressed gratitude to God for blessing her with a God-fearing man and said the introduction ceremony marked a significant step in their courtship.

Last year, the couple embarked on a journey of organising their wedding, a process that unfolded over six months. At the onset of planning, Oben disclosed that they set a budget of Shs16.4 million and to finance the budget they pooled resources from friends and their accrued savings.
Oben says the wedding meetings were conducted at Radio Messiah in Kasese Town where he works and at their home in Kasokero Village, Kyondo Sub-County, Kasese District, the chosen venue for the celebration. 

To ensure transparency and accountability, every contribution received was entrusted to the treasurer selected by both committees.
However, market prices posed challenges and the couple revised their budget increasing it to Shs22 million. 

Suzan recalls her most cherished moment on their wedding: the exchanging of vows. Oben expressed his gratitude for the overwhelming support from Suzan’s family, particularly noting their willingness to travel a considerable distance  for the function. 

“Suzan’s family escorted her to the wedding without complaining about the distance. They also brought us gifts, a rare gesture in our Bakonzo culture, as we did not have a giveaway ceremony at their home. I felt truly loved and appreciated,” he says.

 The couple exchanged their vows in a ceremony officiated by Rev Anna Masika Tumusiime, the parish priest at St Barnabas Kasokero Church of Uganda Parish in Kisinga Archdeaconry, South Rwenzori Diocese on December 8,2023.

Two cents
Those contemplating marriage, Oben shares, “Always follow your mind and heart and stick to the rightful decision. Also, mean what you say because it is a sign of respect to your prospective spouse.”