What you need to know:
- I realised many relationships fail because of this misalignment of how both parties love and how they want to be loved
I spent Friday evening with two female friends. Our conversation started with love languages. Both my female friends cited quality time as their love language .
“How do you know you are loved?”
On the other hand, I had acts of service as my love language... There is no better evidence of love than an act of service. Yet I do not reciprocate in the same style. I tend to love through gifts. How I know I am in love is when I just keep gifting the other party. ..
I realised many relationships fail because of this misalignment of how both parties love and how they want to be loved.
We then spoke about forgiveness, how some people quickly move on, while others will keep remembering the hurt. We also agreed that most men never fully heal from their first serious break-up. “Do you go all in? Or do you walk into love with logic?”
Back then when I was younger, I could have never imagined myself spending an entire Friday night just having conversations. Those days, my ideal Friday would be a night of bar hopping. Now, it is some quality conversation with close friends...
And before we left, we had an argument on whether men should cry or not. I said, men should only cry in rare circumstances. Men hold the centre. When they cry, that centre loosens. But I agreed in circumstances such as an unexpected death of a close friend. A man can shed a tear or two. But then I realised, I d shed a tear recently when I was singing to Silver Kyagulanyi’s Tongoba song. I revised the rule and said, men could cry when worshipping God.
My friends seemed to agree that it would be awkward when a man becomes a crybaby.
“What about black tax?” I am not in a position to reproduce the views we had on black tax. I only remember the fact that we took a double shot of double black.