How present and deliberate are you as a father?

Right into his elderly years, he made breakfast for his family. He never went to a formal school and yet he carried the wisdom of the ancients. His wife died when his youngest child was two years old. 

He never remarried and looked after the baby all his life. He rested from the earthly life at the age of 89. In his will, he demanded for a simple funeral, despite the fact that had accumulated a lot of wealth. His will was read by the elders right after his burial.

Years later, I still ponder the life of this dedicated father of 11 children from one wife. He was not perfect, but he was intentional and present in his children’s life. This weekend, the world celebrates fathers. I also celebrate my mother’s birthday this weekend and in many ways, I dedicate my father’s day to her because she played father and mother to us her children.

For many years, I grappled to understand the concept of fatherhood. It did not make any sense to me because all I ever knew as a child was a mother. I remember the time my maternal grandmother asked me about my father. I was as clueless as she was about my father.

In the course of life, I have known and met great fathers. Men who are committed, deliberate and present in their children’s life. I have also known men who have not only nurtured their own biological children but have reached out to several others in their spaces of influence.

Who is a father? Simply put, a father is the male parent of a child. I would like to add that a father is a man who makes the choice to be there for a child to help them grow in all aspects of life.

Although my biological father was absent in my life, I have found the heart of a father in many adult men that God brought into my life. I had a father in my mother’s brother, in my friend’s father and in the priest at church. I was a communal child raised and nurtured by many.

What kind of father are you? How present and deliberate are you in your role? Most fathers provide financial support, but how about the emotional and psychosocial attributes? Would your children confide in you or you leave those matters to women?

May God bless every father and guide them in this most noble cause. May you be endowed with wisdom to groom children despite the dynamic aspects of the world we live in.  May you raise generations that fear and honour God. May your children bask in the paths of glory that you will have set before them. May you be true fathers who will be celebrated for generations to come.