I prayed not to go into labour — Barbra

On August 5, Martin Arinda and Barbra Tusiime tied the knot at St Kizito Church in Bwaise. Barbra describes her wedding day as a fun-filled and hectic. However, if there was something she would change about it, she would not wed while pregnant.

“I am due in a week’s time but I did not want my baby to be delivered before our wedding. We set all the dates mindful that the ceremony would be before my due date.  I was unable to wear high heels and chose a Cinderella gown and changing dresses that would not affect our baby. Imagine pulling all the dance strokes fearing that you might go into labour soon!” Tusiime  says.

She had heard about brides who go into labour on their wedding day but she took the risk. During church service, she kept praying that it ends without any interruption from the contractions.

“The baby kicks during the church service were inevitable but I had to enjoy my day. At the reception, I felt a pang but I was able to manoeuvre and the day ended successfully,” she says.
If she were to redo her wedding, she would not opt for the salon that she went to because her make-up got ruined and she had to get a backup plan at the last minute.

The encounter
Barbra and Martin used to work in the same company but had no mutual ground of interaction. According to Martin, Barbra ‘acted like she had a lot of money and I feared to get close to her’.
One day their company organised a get-together, the two were able to talk.  A friendship was born and they exchanged contacts. On that same day, Martin dropped her off at her home.

“I do not know for what reason, but I fell for Martin for his openness in our conversation. Also, his gentleness of dropping me off was irresistible,” says Barbra. “We started talking often and he revealed his intentions.”
In Barbra, Martin saw an intelligent, hardworking and wife material who was also developmental and a good finance manager. He could look no further.
After three months of dating, he asked her to move in with him.

“I hesitated but he asked if I was concealing something from him but it was too early for us to move in.  For the next month, I would appear at his house unannounced. There was nothing to show he was seeing someone else, so I moved in,” Barbra explains.
In a short time, she had conceived and they informed their parents but they were not sure about marriage. They did not want to rush things and regret.

“Even though we had a baby, we had to continue studying each other; trying to know how the other person reacts when they are happy or angry. We had to be sure about our feelings before we tied a knot. She stood the test of time; I realised she was the one I should live with for the rest of my life,” Martin says.
When they were sure about their feelings, they then involved their parents who agreed about the kukyaala and introduction dates (August 18 and August 26). The couple set their wedding date for September 5.

Preparing for D-day
After the kukyaala, Martin went to church and paid the fees. In a short time, they had booked all the service providers. They used their friends’ help to spot service providers.
Barbra brags of a supportive mother-in-law, sister-in-law and matron that made sure she had everything delivered to her doorstep. Since she was pregnant, scouting for service providers, the attire would have been hectic for her. The trio eased everything.
“They would take the specifications I gave them and I would only go to fit in. I sat home and relaxed while I waited for my day. They did a great job,” she says.

The wallet
The Arindas had Shs 40m as their budget and they had a quarter of this. Parents, relatives and friends contributed the balance. The most expensive item was food; a plate with two drinks cost Shs80,000. Décor cost Shs4m, the wedding gown from Angel’s Bridals at Shs1.3m, the changing dresses one from Mercy and another from Olive fashion houses cost Shs1.2m and sh750,000 while for the reception venue, they parted with Shs4m.

The peach and white 12 tier-cake with three centerpieces cost Shs2.7m. The give-away cakes were red velvet and chocolate with orange icing. One of the centre pieces had velvet, chocolate and mint flavour with a lemon icing, another with a coconut icing and another without flavour.

From premarital counselling
For a couple that has one child and been staying together since 2016, one would think they had a grip of everything marriage but the Arindas needed these sessions.
At first, the sessions were separate for men and women, later, they were joint. Barbra says they were educative and she learnt to be more patient and control her emotions. She would get angry whenever her husband told her about something that did not go well.

 “My husband is open about everything and will not keep quiet about what displeases him. On the other hand, I am emotional and would cry whenever I got angry. I  am sure there are some things that I would do that irritated him but he did not tell say. The word sorry was never part of my vocabulary,” Barbra says.
She adds that her husband changed the way he speaks to her about the things that displease him and they now live in harmony.