Entebbe to be rebranded as Kenzo International Airport

It’s tonight. Edirisa Musuuza, the man we have known in the entertainment circles as Eddy Kenzo, will be immortalised. He is winning the Grammy.
This is a Slum Dog Millionaire story but because Kenzo’s childhood has been over talked about, I won’t regurgitate it here. This page is sacrosanct.
Instead, I went into the Cabinet meeting as a green fly on the wall. It was a sweet meeting, the deliberations. And at times funny, too.

My cover was almost blown when I laughed so hard even the wall on which the fly in me was perched shrieked. 
You see, I couldn’t help myself because our indefatigable prime minister contested the proposal to rebrand Entebbe into Kenzo International Airport, saying Rema will fear using the airport.

“We’ve only one international gateway, good people,” the prime minister said. “We can’t rename our one and only airport after Kenzo knowing it would emotionally affect Rema. We shouldn’t be the ones inflicting psychological damage on a citizen,” she added.
At this point, another minister jabbed his fingers in the air and said that instead of Kenzo, they can just name the airport after the son of Kaguta.
“That will stop Besigye from using the airport,” the minister famously called Ota said.
“He can walk, who cares?” the other replied.
“Walk in the air?” another said.
“But if police saw him walk in the air, are we ready for the kind of charges they will bring up?”

At this point, I woke up. I looked around and tapped myself to ensure I didn’t develop compound eyes. All was well. I liked the dream and wished it had not been interrupted.
But some things don’t just go away. This one was one of those.
“I’m okay with the airport being rebranded Kenzo, it might make the Academy of Records come here and host the next Grammy here,” a minister said.
She was promptly corrected that it is called the Recording Academy.
“Rema might suffer her pain silently but how shall we deal with protests from Bebe Cool?” another minister said.

“That one, you just keep reminding him of his wife and he will forget Kenzo each time,” Ota said, drawing laughter from the rest.
The fly in me couldn’t keep up with these guys. I realised I didn’t even know more than 10 of them. And that can be painful. Like when this bloke suddenly stopped paying attention to his iPhone and spoke up.
“But why are we using grams in measurement when a kilo is easier for Ugandans to understand? You keep saying gram, gram, gram, you think a UPE graduate will understand that? Let’s just say kilos or tonnes if it’s heavier than an elephant.”
The room was silent for a while before Ecweru – yes, I could tell who that one was – whistled and said: “My man, take more tea; the tea is good. And keep to your nice iPhone.”

Some of the minister took out hankies to wipe out the tears at the corners of their eyes as laughter shook the room like a derelict maize mill in Wabigalo. At this point, a man who had tucked in like a capsule walked in and said something to the prime minister. Then to the vice president.
Shortly after, the VP explained that Entebbe has been facing a challenge with the extortion revelations. She said rebranding was a good idea and a celebrity like Kenzo wouldn’t divide the opinion.
“But let him first win it,” she concluded.

Disclaimer: This is a parody column