Of the many things Ssegirinya can be suspected of faking, making up the appearance of being sad in the dock the day he was arrested and sent to spend Easter in Kitalya prison is none of them. He was genuinely sad.
Many thought the politician was acting for the cameras, but wardens at Kitalya prison swear it was not the case.
“He has been so sad since coming here unlike most politicians who try to show off their collars,” a warden told this writer. “Initially, we thought he was ill but one of the inmates intimated to us that Ssegirinya had expressed his disappointment at being remanded to Kitalya instead of Luzira.”
The warden could not explain why during this made up story sourcing, the MP-elect broke down and wept bitterly when his inmates put the same question to him.
However, Ibrahim Bisiika, a voter, swears he knows the reason.
“I know Ssegirinya like Museveni knows power,” he said. “He obviously faked his arrest and if you consider the timing, my suspicion is that he either wanted to cool off the noise he created by diverting talk from his academic issues, or he had other motives.”
When we mentioned his crying in Kitalya, Bisiika said the politician could have wanted to get something from the famous Luzira.
“Inmates said he was asking if Kitalya is also loosely called ‘University of Understanding,” admitted the warden.
According to Bisiika, Ssegirinya might have imagined that the UU from old registration plates of prisons vehicles that gave birth to the moniker ‘University of Understanding’ made it a real higher institution of learning from which inmates graduated.
“He wanted academic documents from Luzira and this time he would have proof of himself in the famous yellow uniform that cannot be contested like what he issued in his Uneb papers,” Bisiika declared, clicking his fingers and nodding vigorously with half his lower lip sucked into his own mouth.
But how would that make sense?
FDC says it does. The party says Ssegirinya probably needed substitute academic papers urgently before his election was nullified.
“It doesn’t make sense that Kiggundu could pull off such feats without the help of a more brazen fellow who knows how to pass Science subjects in O-Level but offer Arts in A-Level and that can only be Ssegirinya,” said the party that has always contested presidential election results.
Last week, Ugandans in Diaspora held a two-hour virtual meeting that only dwelt on suspicions surrounding the conduct of Ssegirinya.
They unanimously agreed that the populist politician from Kawempe should be the first suspect if the time comes to find out who programmed Ugandan leaders and politicians into entitlements of office.
One of the deadliest scourges in Uganda is leaders who assume public office but insist that only death can do them part.
The Diaspora meeting concluded that it is not possible for a normal Ugandan whose faculties have not been tampered with to take public office as their birth right.
Meanwhile, candidates vying for the Office of the Speaker intend to submit a joint petition to the court to keep Ssegirinya on remand until after the vote in Parliament.
“I wouldn’t take chances with that man unless he swears that he will vote for me, otherwise he is capable of altering the live vote outcome in favour of his preferred candidate in this race,” one of the contesters said.
Asked to comment on these suspicions around his person, Ssegirinya said he was too busy reminiscing about the time he spent in Robben Island prison with Nelson Mandela.
“He was 46664 and me 46665. My old prison ID is in Kawempe,” he said.