Men only consider us beautiful at night, say disabled women

When she met the father of her child in 2008, he promised her care and support. Flora Apio (names changed), only 16 years-old then, thought the opportunity was a godsend due to the myth that People With Disabilities (PWDs) can never be genuinely loved.

When she conceived, Acen’s partner received the news with joy since she was expecting his first child. “He didn’t care about my disability and that everything would be fine,” says Apio, whose left leg is paralysed and uses a stick for support to walk.

However, their ‘honeymoon’ was cut short when Apio’s in-laws learnt about her pregnancy. “His relatives told him not to marry me because I am a disabled woman. They said my disability would bring a curse to their family,” she narrates. Apio struggled with the pregnancy until she delivered.

The struggles
Two years later, Apio met another man, and they agreed to use protection since she did not want to conceive again. But when they tested negative for HIV, the man refused to use protection.
When Apio became pregnant and told her partner about it, it was the last time she saw him. “Both my children have never seen their fathers,” she says.

“Men do not genuinely love us. That’s why when one comes to you, you cannot give him conditions. Most PWDs get HIV because they cannot say no to unprotected sex,” says Apio, who now sells charcoal for a living.

Apio, who stays in a grass-thatched hut in Layibi Division pays Shs1,500 monthly in rent.
Apio’s woes tells of the marginalisation and harassment that people with disability face in Gulu District.

According to the Uganda Population and Housing Census Report, 2002, four out of every 25 persons in Uganda have disabilities. Ms Flavia Omaya (not real names), who also shares a similar plight with Acen, says she was raped and has a child without a father. “A drunkard raped me at night and I didn’t even see his face,” she said.

Omaya, whose daughter is now four-years-old, sells empty water bottles in Gulu town to make ends meet. She appeals to the community to change their attitude towards PWDs and that government should prioritise their needs in it’s development programmes.

“When it comes to HIV/Aids programmes and awareness, little information is given to us yet in most cases we are also victims. Community based organisation and other government programmes only focus on the able bodied persons,” says Omaya.

However, the LC5 councillor for PWDs, Ms Carolyne Adong, said the disabled cause stigma to themselves, since most feel they cannot offer much for the country. “At the end of the day, they influence the community to look at them as the most vulnerable individuals who should depend on donations all the time,” she says.

“Its high time for us to come out clearly and say no to all forms of discrimination and stigmatisation that we face,” Ms Adong said. The programme assistant of National Union For Disabled Persons in Uganda, Ms Patricia Okwi, said their records show that seven out 10 disabled women are abandoned by their partners, most of whom feel ashamed to be associated with the women.

She said 50 per cent of women with disabilities are not educated as their parents and guardians deny them access to education. Ms Adong added that PWDs have been victims of defilement and rape by their own relatives and they cannot report to police because many have problems with mobility.
Mr Santo Dwoka, the chairperson of PWD Sacco in Gulu, said their concerns need to be addressed by all stake holders.

Mr Dwoko, who was trained in leather shoe making, said he cannot afford modern equipment to simplify his work. “We can only make15 pairs, but if we had technical tools, we can make 40 pairs daily.”

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