When I grow up, I want to be like Gen Muhoozi Kainerugaba

In the circumstances, we may just have to accept that Lt Gen Muhoozi Kainerugaba of the Uganda Peoples Defence Forces is the toast of the nation. A nationwide birthday celebrations crested with a dinner at State House is no small matter.

Most Ugandans must be envying him. But I will speak for myself: I envy Lt Gen Muhoozi Kainerugaba. A senior service officer of a national army speaking about policy issues with the kind of latitude and attitude with which he does is no small feat. Least of all in the UPDF; our UPDF.

Lt Gen Muhoozi is no ordinary soldier though. He is the commander of the Land Forces and presidential adviser on special operations. As a presidential advisor, he has the latitude to say what he wants. But as a serving officer of the UPDF, he has limitations. And therein lies controversy.

Given the UPDF’s tri-command structure, Lt Gen Muhoozi’s command (Land Forces) has the biggest assets and human resources of the UPDF. (For the sake of clarity, I place the Special Forces Command at the same footing with Land Forces and Air Force. That is why I say tri-command).

The management of the military is about three things namely: policy, command and administration. It is ‘strongly’ advisable for service officers to always avoid matters of policy (unless invited to by policy makers – politicians). Even in Uganda where the military is some sort of political constituency, we have had cases of servicemen being sanctioned over matters related to speaking ‘out of turn’ on matters of policy (politics).

So, for me, Lt Gen Muhoozi brings some novelty to the UPDF’s attitude, traditions and culture in relation with public affairs. And need I say it is such a relief to hear a UPDF soldiering soldier say ‘my army’?

Has any Ugandan ever heard that since 1986? Such words are always associated with armies in the West; otherwise in Uganda, the words ‘my army’ are exclusively associated with and preserved for only one person: Mr. Museveni.

So, now you know why I envy Lt Gen Muhoozi and why I want to be like him when I grow up. He is anti-pop (non-conformist). The man doesn’t even have a traditional Christian name.

There were bush guys with no Christian names: Kizza Besigye, Kahinda Otafire, Mugisha Muntu, Sserwanga Lwanga etc. If they used Christian names, they localised them: Yoweri Museveni, Eriya Kategaya etc. But their Christian names were later revealed.

So, is our beloved Lt Gen Muhoozi a Christian? Was he baptised? Was he confirmed in the traditions of Christianity? And by the way, what is his traditional Christian name?

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I am the one who organised the MK@48 bash at Kiburara. As you may know, the youth just want entertainment. I have also commissioned a huge portrait of Lt Gen Muhoozi to be placed at the main junction in Kiburara.

So, with those small actions, one would think my future is secured (because I am doing the right things at the right time). Unfortunately for me, it seems love for our Gen MK must be complemented with love for Paul Kagame of Kigali.

Now, whenever I am in my element, I always like to irritate the political leadership in Rwanda. And I must confess I enjoy it whenever I annoy ‘them Kigalians’. So, after Obed Katureebe, it could be me in custody.

After the arrest of my friend Obed (and the fear that I could be next), do I still want to be like Lt Gen Muhoozi? Yes, I do. The power that comes with being Lt Gen MK is very tempting.

Mr Bisiika is the executive editor of the East African Flagpost. [email protected]