Let’s endorse  family-based care for senior citizens

We recently marked the inaugural International Day of Care and Support. The adoption of this day by the United Nations General Assembly mirrors a surging global awareness of the importance of investing in the care economy. 

There are various aspects of care, but I have focused on a specific one that particularly intrigues me. 

I have been contemplating this topic, essentially in terms of looking after our elderly guardians, parents and grandparents. 

Although retirement can feel like a long-awaited vacation after decades spent in the workforce, it can also be a challenging time, especially if a retiree lives far away from their family — or alone. 

Even so, living with someone or being married won’t necessarily extinguish loneliness after leaving the workforce. 

All this can easily become a catalyst for cognitive, physical, and emotional meltdown. Nobody wants to feel isolation or loneliness during their retirement; it’s important to recognise those feelings and take steps to increase our parents’ quality of life in their golden-edger years.

Researchers with a more relational focus of investigation found that filial piety supports warmth, love, harmony, and close family ties, and thus has a beneficial effect on personal growth and interpersonal relationships.  

Filial piety is a Confucian concept derived from Chinese culture, which advocates a set of moral norms, values, and practices of respect and caring for one’s parents.

According to the dual-factor model of filial piety, reciprocal and authoritarian filial piety are two dimensions of filial piety. Reciprocal filial piety is concerned with sincere affection toward one’s parent and a longstanding positive parent-child relationship, while authoritarian filial piety is about obedience to social obligations to one’s parent, often by suppressing one’s own wishes to conform to the demands of the parent.  

In Chinese culture, filial piety has long been studied as a set of cultural and moral norms, values, and practices of respect and caring for one’s parents. In the Chinese language, filial piety translates to Xiao. 

Ideographically, the Chinese character of Xiao is composed of two other characters with the old on the top and the son at the bottom, written from the top to the bottom. 

This ideograph indicates the hierarchical structure of the family and the responsibility that the young are expected to support the old in the family. 

In Indian culture, the parent-child relationship in Hindu ideology is built upon the concept of filial devotion and love of Shravan Kumar, who fulfills all the desires and wishes of his parents. 

Akin to this is the notion of seva in Indian culture. Seva is the Indian word equivalent to the Chinese Xiao, which refers to long-term bonds of intergenerational reciprocity and affection, in which juniors provide care for their senior parents in old age and after death, as ancestors in return for all of the effort, expense and love their parents expended to producing, raising them . 

Seva is central in the Indian parent-child relationship, requiring support and care from the child to the (grand) parent and the filial duties of a son for his parents.

In Malay culture, the indigenous term of filial piety is Ketaatan Kepada Ibu Bapa, meaning loyalty toward the parents. Scholars suggest that Ketaatan Kepada IbuBapa in Malaysia is close to their traditional Confucian origins and promotes accentuated obedience. 

Research has found that Malay children internalise Ketaatan Kepada Ibu Bapa not only from their parents but also from mass media, and their relatives, friends, and teachers.

Structural and ideological changes are needed to meet the social realities of contemporary parenthood. 

Besides instituting parent-friendly policies, provision of resources to help parents cope with the emotional and psychological stress factors of parenting is crucial.

We should strive to endorse such ideologies of family-based care for senior citizens – the golden edgers. The principles should be popularly encouraged and promoted as virtues that bind society together. Hence, the importance of filial duties will be ingrained in our society.

Although most parents will never ask directly, or expect their children to give them much, more often than not, it’s the gesture that counts.  

For some parents, they may never share their financial struggles with you even though they are desperately in need of some extra cash from time to time. Their motivation to stay quiet simply runs from their altruistic belief that, as parents, they shouldn’t trouble their own children.

So, let’s be intentional in offering unsolicited family-centred care for our aging parents and guardians.

George Ooro
@OoroGeorge