Sex education vs parental responsibility

 There is an advertisement on one of the television stations of a school asking parents who have no time for their children to deliver them to the school for safe keeping. It was hilarious at first until I started to ponder about the reality of this calamity and it further sunk in when this affected me.

   Yesterday my child told me that two boys hit on her at school. One drew pictures of people kissing and said one was her and the other was him. And he said he loved her. She was depressed. The other gave her Shs1,000 and expressed his affection. Of course she took the money and brought it to me. I have always cautioned her about free money or gifts from anyone when it’s not your birthday - saying that they had strings attached and that she should ask what it is for.

   Emma is a six-year-old girl and in grade two and has just joined a new school nearly a week now. I have two other daughters younger than her and I think this is a bit early for me to start discussing boys as a parent but it seems my choices are getting limited.

     The last time it happened she was in reception class, a boy kissed her on the lips out of the blue, she aptly reported to the teacher who admonished the boy. I later learnt that it was not the first time the same boy has done this, he has been doing it to the other girls as well. Believing St. James that faith without deeds is dead, I have since volunteered my cheek to teach her how to deliver swift justice to such advances... It hurt of course but it was worth it at the time.

    As a parent who does not have any boys in the family yet, I believed that this would be the best way to handle these situations at the time. If my child landed in first hand trouble for a social vice I didn’t know they had, would I be mad because of it? 

   Of late, I have seen media awash with witnesses of these social vices ask culprits to try to recreate them as evidence, but these are somethings a parent or child should never re-live because of the trauma attached.

   There is a part where we could of course tell the teacher to tell the boy off or confront the boy and have the parent present, but as a parent i would have a hard time to believe these allegations, instictively, especially if the child isn’t the victim. Sadly, some parent never gets know of such stories about the demerits of their children’s upbringing on the society until their child is the victim.   There is a part where we could of course tell the teacher to tell the boy off or confront the boy and have the parent present, but as a parent I would have a hard time to believe these allegations instinctively especially if the child isn’t the victim. Further, this story would never surface or would never know the gravity of their children’s upbringing on the society until the child narrates their victimisation.

    I come from a Christian-moralled background and I have tried to model my family in a similar manner and control what information they are exposed to. Bringing up liberal children is good but should have limits, it’s true that power corrupts. My earning is important but I also take a lot of time to interact with my children and dispense to them lessons that I think would help them at their stages in life. With the media so awash with stories about sex education and how much the children are being exposed to, I am starting to believe that parents have not done their fair share and the gap exists between a rock and hard place.

    Here’s the thing, it’s not that hard to have these conversations with Emma because of her age and all, it’s more uncomfortable and forbearing. A parent with my own childhood experiences and insight of my children’s day to day, I am more placed to know what news to break to each of them and when.

   Lana, now only two years, vehemently declined and screamed at her grandfather from cleaning her claiming that her grandmother was on the way. It was absurd given the resources available but I think the message passed down has had an impact. But I know that we are not yet to the cheek justice part with Lana because it doesn’t apply yet.

    The world is changing and it’s true that 10-year-olds know more than we knew 20 years ago because of media exposure, we are also not happy with the sex education curriculum.... But the truth is, these things are happening even among peers, and what are doing about it?

Dr Christopher Ssekandi

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