Sister-daughter cord painfully broken

In our daily series capturing stories of victims of the July 11, 2010 bomb attacks in Kampala, our reporter Flavia Lanyero brings a story of a sister-daughter relationship that was short lived when Shamim Nakayiza, a treasured child in the family, was killed in the bomb blasts. Now her mother and brother are trying to cope with the loss.

Because Shamim Namirimu loved her daughter very much, she decided the baby must carry her name. Her prayer too, was that her virtues would rub off the young girl. Despite not being the only girl, Ms Namirimu had great hopes in her daughter. She hoped one day she would save the family from their poverty.

The 18-year-old Nakayiza was persuaded by her elder brother, Medi Kibirige into watching the 2010 football World Cup finals, a sport she did not fancy. But as fate may have preferred, just as they approached Kyadondo Rugby Club, Kibirige got an abrupt phone call to check on his friends in Entebbe.
He left and the plan was for him to pick the sister when the game was over.
“I was not even curious about the security because I did not expect anything bad to happen and I cannot remember whether they were checking at the entrance or not,” Kibirige recalls.

It was at Entebbe that he heard over radio that bombs had exploded in Kabalagala and the rugby club where his sister was. “I rushed back and found the whole place was sealed off and no one was allowed in. I desperately wanted to see my sister but had to wait until the following day when we were allowed into the wards and mortuary,” Kibirige says.

Optimistic that his sister could be alive, Kibirige checked from one casualty ward to another, scrutinising every cubical but Nakayiza was nowhere to be found. It was until later at 5pm, that the mortuary was opened and he recognised her body in a green dress and blue jeans. Her mother Namirimu says she did not believe her daughter was dead. “When I saw her body, I knew my girl had died,” Ms Namirimu says in tears. Nakaziya was buried the following day at their ancestral burial site in Mutungo.

The family misses her a lot. Ms Namirimu says she cannot spend a day without thinking about her and the nostalgia is even worse on weekends as Nakayiza used to create lame excuses at school every weekend to come and visit her. Ms Namirimu suffers from pressure and her children, especially Nakayiza, ensured she never went through stress. Because of her influence, Nakayiza’s father, who is abroad with other siblings, always supported her mother and the step children since her parents separated in 1991.

“Nakayiza could deceive her father in Britain that she was sick or she did not have school requirements and when the money came, we could use it to take care of the younger ones,” Ms Namirimu says. It is such handouts and small money like Shs10,000 Nakayiza occasionally brought her mother that made the two bond like never before.

Even now, though the father of the other two children (one in Primary Three and another in kindergarten) occasionally offers support, they have not yet returned to school because they lack school fees, she says. “If she were here, she would provide ideas of how to handle the situation or even contribute something,” Namirimu says.

“I miss her. If she could help me while still at school what would it be like after school? The girl child brings money to the mother but the boy child takes it away, I cannot be happy,” she says.
Both mother and son say they had to accept the situation and move on with their lives. “Nakayiza was my follower and we used to fight a lot but we were close friends, even now that she is gone, all I can say is I miss her,” Kibirige says with a faint smile.

They have no grudges with the al shabaab and government. They appreciate what government did for them. Kibirige has gone back to his partying lifestyle. “Perhaps God had planned that she would go that way, whether we get annoyed with the al Shabaab or not, the fact is she is gone so we continue to live and pray for her soul,” Namirimu says. She even went for the pilgrimage at Namugongo where many people gathered.

A Senior Four student at Global College Kisaasi, Nakayiza loved partying and according to her brother, she wanted to be a radio presenter. The mother profoundly describes her as a very disciplined child who used to share ideas during tough times. But one thing still haunts them. During her birthday, every February, Nakayiza hosted friends and family to her home to celebrate it and when that date arrived this year, the family was drawn back to pain.

Where you affected by the July 11, 2010 bomb blasts? Did you lose a loved one? Are you a survivor? Share your experiences with us by writing to [email protected]