My neighbour and her hot young boyfriend smoke weed on their verandah at night. Okay, that should not be surprising. The thing though, my neighbour – whom we shall call Lou – has three young children who live with her.
These children have no set bedtime, so by the time Lou and her boyfriend are getting high on the verandah at 11pm, the children are in the sitting room watching cartoons.
By 11.30pm, they are high enough to hold loud conversations or to walk to my part of the compound and urinate at the base of the mango tree near my window. Dear Lord, the words those two people speak as they are urinating! This must have been love at first height.
You see, Lou was married to some guy, but then, she began cheating on him with a married man. She later eloped with the married man to Dar es Salaam where they remained long enough to have three children. Never joke with long suffering married women. The man’s wife waited patiently until he got tired of Lou and returned to her bosom.
Lou travelled back to Kampala with her children, and somehow ensnared a white man who was ready to adopt her three children. The relationship went on smoothly for about three years, until the current boyfriend crossed her path. She threw out the white man and invited the young boyfriend to live in her house.
To bring the young man to her level, she sponsored him at university. He graduated in January with a degree in Procurement. As if that is not enough, she donated her car to him.
To get to her workplace, Lou walks to the stage and struggles to board the first taxi of the day. Whatever that young man gives Lou must be very potent.
Meanwhile, boyfriend wakes up at 8am to a continental breakfast prepared by the maid, and then drives to work in Lou’s car.
He usually returns home drunk at 10pm. Every day. Maybe dating a young man is the way to go. At least, you can be assured of sexual satisfaction – so I have been told. Because he is after a comfortable life, he will turn a blind eye to your cellulite and sagging breasts. With money, no one really needs to be single.