Love yourself before someone else loves you

Thursday March 26 2020


By Christine Nakalungi

“Love your neighbour as you love yourself.” The Bible commands. Well, most people do not take time to love themselves in fear of being labeled ‘selfish’ but the command is; you love yourself first.

Most people go through life waiting and praying for someone to love them. It is great to be loved and everyone should experience it but before you fall in love with someone else, fall in love with yourself.

Maybe no one ever told you but you deserve to be treated with dignity and love. You should not allow people to step on you, let alone call you inferior. The more time you spend trying to appreciate who you are, the stronger you build your esteem.

Esther never felt beautiful regardless of the expensive make-up she wore. She stayed in an abusive relationship because she thought that she could not find someone else to love her and six months ago, she moved in with her boyfriend James. Her family never approved of the relationship but in most cases, it is hard to stand between lovers regardless of what you may say.

Two weeks ago, Esther was in hospital because she had had a miscarriage. She spent most of the time either buried in thought or crying and refused to eat or drink anything. We all thought that it was because of the loss she had encountered until James entered the room on day three.

She turned to the wall and sobbed bittery. When James came close to hold her, she burst out in anger, threw the flowers he had brought and ordered him to leave the room. “Calm down Essie,” her mom intervened.


The nurse came in and asked us to leave the room but we could still hear James apologising. “I am sorry, I did not mean to do it,” he said. “You have been saying that every time you hit me.
It ends now. Get out and never return.” She shouted as she pushed him outside.

Finally, Esther had remembered that she deserved more than just a bouquet of flowers. A few of us knew about the mistreatment but she always defended his actions.

This is what happens to most people who think they do not deserve true love. They stick with the wrong person because they fear that maybe no one will love them.

However, if you do not love yourself, you might not be able to differentiate between true love and fake love because a person who loves him/herself knows what true love is and knows how to love others.