I want to settle down but do not trust women

Thursday September 12 2019

 

By Marylyn Alaso

Dear Heart to Heart, Last year I dated a woman and although I loved her very much, it was short-lived and I was left with a broken heart. This came after several other break-ups. Since then, I have found it hard to date again because I do not trust women. I would, however, like to find that one person I can settle down with. Please advise. Mulongo

YOUR FEEDBACK

Phoebe Miriam. Dear Mr Mulongo, it is very obvious you are looking in the wrong places for a good woman! Pray about it and take your time...good ladies are many out there! It is just a matter of time before you actually meet the right one.

Anna Catherine God is the best answer. First pour out your heart to him & ask for his intervention.

Enid Kahubire Mulongo first put break on searching just learn to love yourself do your own business care about your loved ones if you start now with broken heart your will not make it. It’s is really hard to find someone to trust and respect those are the foundation of love for both male and female try to love the heart not beauty and money. Good luck

Emilly Nyap’bitek she wasn’t meant for you. God is up-to something that’s why it had to end briefly. Trust me that God is fixing it for soon. When you find that person you won’t be hurt again
Always pray for the best and see what happened in a positive way not the negative impacts only.
Sheillah Atwine. You are the problem, find your self/weakness and work on them. A rightful woman will come along.

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Patience Natie Nampa Getting over heartbreaks can be challenging,try focus now on improving yourself. Do things that make you happy, live and spoil yourself and only do what you feel is the best for you. once you do that you will appreciate yourself and get to concentrate on others later. And once you venture into dating again focus more on appreciating a person for who she is and what she is capable of not taking any comparisons between her and your past relationships. Focus on the good side and know that different people have different characters and can never be the same.

Elijah M Kyeyune Knowing your calling frist as of purpose on earth, after that it’s easier to know who is better compatible partner for you. Those past ribs may be non applicable to your ribcage good luck.

Bart Nsubuga All the women can’t be wrong; there is something you are not telling us,. Tell us everything.

Lydia Sharon Find yourself first, forgive yourself, trust in the Lord and all will be fine. Not all women are the same by the way, so take your time as you seek clear guidance from God
then eventually what belongs to you will come at its right time.

Kennedy Okumu Dear Mulongo, I feel how troubled you are. But then, I have just a handful of submissions to make. Refer to all the r/ships you’ve been in and list down the reasons for the break ups, see your weaknesses and work on them. Test the new strategies and see if they work.

Donavan Alecs Nyakojo Get a woman who is ready to be your wife, and avoid undecided girls, who will just waste your time.
Lola Liana If we all gave up because of failure or bad turn of events, we would never achieve anything worthwhile. Disappointment is bound to be part of life especially when it comes to matters of the heart. So get up, dust yourself and start again.
Make a self inventory report

DearMulongo, have you ever come across the quote: “Sometimes God lets us meet wrong people so that when we finally meet the right one, we realize that they are a gift from Him”?
That should give you the strength not to give up on finding the right woman for you. That being said, your story raises more questions than answers.

1. Where do you usually meet the women you date? In bars, clubs, church, professional settings?

2. What attracts you to these women? Is it their looks, personality?

3. How do you relate with them? For example: are you overly controlling (e.g. checking their phones, inquiring about incoming calls, wanting to know what they’re up to at all times? )

4. Do you have any character flaws such as lying, being violent, abusive, disrespectful and unhygienic?
5. How do the relationships usually end? Do you end them, or is it the women who always do? If it is you, is there a consistency in the reasons you give for ending the relationship?
And if it is the women, is there a consistency in the reasons they give?

6. How long do you normally take to get into a relationship after one has ended? Do you give yourself time to heal? Or do you seek healing in a new relationship?
You need to take a personal inventory.

If you’re consistently having short-lived relationships, there are two possibilities.
1. You consistently go out with the wrong kind of women.
2. You rush into new relationships before healing from your heartbreaks. This makes you blind to obvious red flags.
Marylyn Alaso

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Answers to all questions are provided by readers and, where necessary, cross-checked with competent psychiatrists, psychologists, sociologists and other experts in related professions.
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