Is it always about the money?
What you need to know:
When you see a younger woman walking with a much older man, the first thing that will come to mind is that the woman is after the man’s money. But is this always the case?
I once saw an inter-racial couple walk out of a city hotel on a cold Saturday evening. The lady was middle-eastern, or so it seemed. The gentleman was black. And as they stepped through the revolving door into the slight drizzle outside, she flashed the umbrella open and held it out for him. That’s the gesture that drew my attention to them because usually, it should be the man holding out the umbrella for his woman.
Well, his arm draped over her shoulder as they remained standing under the shelter for a couple of minutes; perhaps gauging whether to dare the drizzle or not. And it is then that I noticed they had another difference more pronounced than their skin colour; their age.
The man was old, 65 years or somewhere in that neighbourhood. He carried a potbelly. His hair had been dyed black, his chin and forehead wrinkled, and his eyes red.
The lady on the other hand was way younger. At most, she was 28. She had long hair, dark and dozy eyes, and a fine-shaped body; the kind of woman you would call beautiful even above the moon.
And as I stood on the opposite porch, watching him whisper something, his tongue almost poking into her ear and his hand now pressing lightly at her lower back, it saddened me that a girl of her beauty had settled for a man too old to be her dad. Why him, I wondered.
Then they stepped off the verandah, trotting with a slight bend, their heads still under the umbrella. My gaze followed them until they reached the parking lot. I watched him swing his car door open, a BMW M4 and I thought oh well, this is it. This car represented this gentleman’s class and status, and from what I know, some younger women would put up with a few flaws, even a heavily wrinkled chin for a BMW M4 and the lifestyle that lies beyond this car.
A case of cross-generational relationships
My judgment in this case was that she was with him for the money, and that is usually society’s verdict every time a young woman is seen holding hands with an old man.
In fact, come to think of it, this idea does not change even when the gender roles reverse. A young man dating an old woman still attracts similar sentiments. Questions are asked. Why did he over-look all the young girls with pliant waists and firmer breasts to go in for ‘grandma’? Unless of course he is after her inheritance!
But I remember a lady I know once giving me a different perspective.
As I gave my two pence on cross-generational dating, talking of Kampala’s girls and the ease with which they throw themselves at white old men for their dollars, she stopped me in my verbal tracks to point out that the dollars are not always the catch.
“You mean old men are not deserving of love?” She quipped, ferocious. “Mind you old men are sometimes better lovers than younger males with bulging biceps.”
Old men a better catch?
Older men are comfortable, that was the first reason she gave. That unlike the younger guys still all over the place trying to discover who they really are, grandpas are many miles past the journey of self-discovery.
“At least you can always be sure that his insecurities are not something you will have to deal with. He is confident, and there is nothing sexier in a man.”
As I still dealt with that, she told me of how old folks are many times better listeners, more understanding and patient, then went right ahead to unapologetically insinuate that older men could even be better lovers even between the sheets, sometimes.
“Yes!” she sniffed. “Young guys are always too busy trying to flirt over the phone, which they also suck at. They start banging their chests through texts, talking of what they will do to you when you finally meet, which by the way is never much.”
Her idea was that younger people will sometimes trash peers for older partners based on other valid reasons, not just the money.
“And so what if she gets to have some of that money? There are plenty of younger couples where men are rich and their women relentlessly peck away at their dollars, which is always okay. Why is it suddenly wrong when the man is old?”
I did not side with her, but I heard her views.
Reason
Young guys are always too busy trying to flirt over the phone, which they also suck at. They start banging their chests through texts, talking of what they will do to you when you finally meet, which by the way is never much.”
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