Satire: Jesa Jus to lead the ‘struggle’ against police

Uganda police recently condemned the use of its traffic image as content in a controversial commercial advert of a juice popularly known as “Jesa Jus”.

For good measure, police has now demanded that the commercial firm removes the advert from circulation. 

“We urge all intending marketers and ad producers to always seek authorisation on usage of the police image and content before producing a commercial advert,” police spokesperson Enanga said.

According to Enanga, the TV ad portrayed the traffic police as being corrupt and easily bribed by “Jesa Jus”. 

This is regrettable since we all know that our police are corruption-free. 

In fact, if our police was a person that person’s forename would be “corruption” and his/her surname would be “free”. 

The hyphen in “corruption-free” would then represent a minus sign as corruption subtracts what is free from how it operates and thus makes it costly for any of us to be corrupt. 

That said, why is police worried about being depicted as corrupt?

Frankly, corruption is the latest badge of the liberator and that is why Donald Trump is in so much legal hot soup. 

At the last count, I read that Trump was facing “four felony counts for his attempts to overturn the 2020 election in Washington DC, 13 felony counts for his election interference in Georgia, 34 felony counts in connection with hush-money payments to adult film star Stormy Daniels in New York, and 40 felony counts for hoarding classified documents in the wake of his presidency and interfering with the government’s efforts to retrieve them in Florida”.

Eh! 

With all these counts, Trump has shown that corruption counts. 

I mean, if a whole potential US president can have that number of charges against him, then he definitely has the numbers to shake Joe Biden. 

Uganda police should take a leaf from such an exemplary record of corruption by making its own corruption count, too. 

Jesa Jus should thus be allowed to circulate that damming advert and also include an investigation into where the “t” went at the end of “Jus”. 

Who stole it, the Illuminati? 

We all know that there is no word in the world such as “Jus”, even the word “juice” has disowned such a word. 

Sure, we know that Jus is the corruption of juice in the same way “Loodi Meeya” corrupts the words Lord Mayor. But “Jus” just sounds fearful. 

That aside, Jesa Jus could also change its name to “Jesa Enanga” since he is already working for Jesa Jus.  

After all, by his spotlighting the Jesa Jus advert, he has spotlighted the drink itself and now even those who did not know what it was now know where to find it. 

Plus, Jesa Jus has also earned street cred in “the struggle” by upsetting the police. So it can now be seen as pro-people precisely because Uganda Police Force is viewed as anti-people. 

What an excellently nuanced advert and a spectacular job by Enanga as unofficial spokesperson for Jesa Jus. Now we know where he will be working next, when he finally retires from the Force. 

We can see him now, out of police uniform and feeding the corrupt cops with Jesa Jus whenever there is a traffic offence. 

If people say he is corrupt, he can argue that he is merely obeying the thirst of cops everywhere.  In other words, he is putting the “sip” in “gossip” by offering all those talking about him behind his back some Jesa Enanga. 

This will ensure that everyone who calls the police looking for police will be directed by the police to where they can find Jesa Jus. 

The cops will allow unlawful assemblies to all those communing with their need to sip Jesa Jus. And this is how peaceful assemblies will grow across the country. 

Very soon, these assemblies will go from sipping communities to revolutionary guilds intent on overthrowing the regime, one sip at a time. 

Before long, Ugandans would have unwittingly transformed their drinking habits in the name of liberty, thereby also changing Ugandan palates in favour of mobilising wananchi against the status quo. 

It would be called “Jesa Justice” and it would have all started with the police and their sensitivity about their otherwise virginal image.