UPL's photo finish on the final day of the season is a beauty to behold, but…

On Saturday, the curtain comes down on what—at least in the latter part—has been a topsy-turvy three-horse race in the Uganda Premier League (UPL). To the vast majority, though, the usage of the metaphor of horses was—to put it mildly—a bit of a misnomer.

SC Villa might have an unprecedented 16 national titles tucked under its belt, but the fact that they last mounted the winners' podium in 2004 means that not many critics are beholden to the Jogoos' rich history. Yet Villa faithful vigorously and movingly counteracted derisive and sceptical reporting around their team's title credentials by willing it on in big numbers. They are now primed to have the last laugh.

It is nevertheless important to put into context the reporting that—for the most part—amplified a narrative that made it feel like two thoroughbreds were sandwiching a pony at the homestretch.

Vipers SC and KCCA FC, which had a number of games in hand, have shared nine of the last 10 national titles. In fact Express FC's sensational win during the 2020/2021 season could well pass off for a statistical rounding error.

The media's reductionist approach that labelled Villa a pony while purring over Vipers and KCCA in discerning if passionate detail should, therefore, not terrorise every memory neutrals summon. If the neutrals are intent on hammering into anyone and everyone a debilitating guilt for their negligence, it should be the UPL secretariat to bear the brunt.

Revelations that the secretariat has been caught unawares by the league title race being decided on the final day of the season are unsavoury. With no replicas of the UPL title, the secretariat staff will today stagger the trophy presentation at either Wankulukuku, Kitende or Lugogo.

Fingers will be crossed as the secretariat hopes its decision to maintain a respectful distance from all three venues is not knocked sideways by traffic gridlock. As George Weah came to learn back in 1999, traffic in and around Kampala on a Saturday afternoon/evening can be punishingly bad. In case you didn’t know, dear reader, Weah missed an Africa Cup of Nations qualifier between Uganda and Liberia thanks to a situation of very severe traffic congestion.

A late goal by Philip Ssozi won the Cranes bragging rights, with Weah breaking into a furious gallop at Nakivubo Stadium minutes after the full-time whistle had been blown. Speaking of Ssozi, his former side—Villa—head into today's grandstand UPL finish top of the pile.

Armed with a willful disbelief, the Jogoos face a potential banana skins in renowned party poopers URA FC. While there will be some solace in the invocation that Villa's fate lies in its hands, a few Villa faithful will doubtless be detached from their side's lofty ambitions. 

This does not mean that the two-strong chasing pack will entirely have it their way. KCCA has traditionally made heavy weather of subjugating Bright Stars. The Cityzens' goalless draw in their penultimate league game away to Busoga United also pretty much encapsulated the league's goal-scoring problems. It is a damning indictment that KCCA—with 39 goals scored in 27 matches— is the UPL's most prolific team this season.

As for Vipers, who are widely expected to take care of business on home soil against Busoga United, they too have skeletons in their closet. With the kind of season they have had—one in which they lost Roberto Oliveria to Tanzania’s Simba SC with a whimper and replaced him with a clueless journeyman in the shape of Bianchi Beto—no-one will be surprised if they shoot themselves in the foot.

It's been that sort of season. As a matter of fact, Villa’s winning goal against Black Powers that opened up a two-point lead over Vipers and KCCA has been endlessly recalled since. Parallels have been drawn between the midweek howler of the Black Powers net-minder and that showing of Akol FC back in 2003. It is the fervent hope of this column that today’s league winner is not the beneficiary of any dark arts. May the best team win.